Church Planting in Lithuania

                                                    Vilnius, Lithuania

                                                       Labai Graziu Lietuva (very beautiful Lithuania)

                                            My sister & I standing on the roof of Kaunas, Lithuania's tallest church building
                                           summer 2008....<3

Have you ever been  "THAT person" who had this REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HUGE dream to change the world? and...every single person around you, even your closest friends, thought you were absolutely out of your mind insanely crazy? Well, I can totally relate to you dear friend. This past Wed-Friday at my university, there was an event that took place called the START Conference. It's basically an event that encourages our generation to plant churches all across America and the world...I'll never forget after the conference on Friday morning walking up to the stage area to be prayed over. The speaker invited anyone who needed prayer over a certain vision or dream God had placed on their heart or any request in general. It was actually a funny/deep moment...the humorous side...the dear blessed elderly man who prayed with me thought my name was "ICEY"...and I'm sure you can just picture me standing there as he says "Dear Heavenly Father please bless ICEY..." and I did let a small little smirk rip through the corner of my scandalous smile...it was freakin hilarious...on another note, I'll never forget that moment where I gave my vision of planting a church in Lithuania one soon day to God....It was such a deep, moving, soul shattering moment...I knew that God wanted me to be a European musicianary...but plant a church in Eastern Europe? I was like God?? R U SERIOUS? ME. Aiste? ReALLY? You trust me THAT MUCH? R U sure you chose the right girl Jesus?  But Father God, I don't even speak 2 years worth of Russian...God said, "Aiste, the people of Lithuania speak LITHUANIAN....that is their first language, Russian is their 2nd....no excuses now dear blessed daughter" and I'm like "Jesus, my strength within the church would be the music ministry part....I'll gladly be a worship leader, but God who's going to be the pastor, where are all the other people who are essential for a church body going to come from?" He reassured me,"My timing is perfect, trust me, I will bring those people into your life at the right moment" But Jesus, I mean SERIOUSLY, I haven't met a guy that I could marry who would be willing to be a missionary with me in Lithuania, 99% of the guys I've met in my life don't even know where LITHUANIA is!....=P God said, "Well tomorrow at 10:52am as you are walking the streets of NCU you'll run into this guy who is head over heals in LOVE with Lithuanians AND LITHUANIA" ( JUST KIDDING....LOL....I'm still trying to figure that part out...God is still keeping  that secret...lol) Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt. I believe these are the 2 main reasons why we become afraid of the unknown when God blesses us with His vision and dreams that he places on our hearts. We come up with every excuse to get out of it. We doubt that God could actually use us in such great ways....but the TRUTH is....He WANTS to bring those visions and dreams he has placed on our hearts come to pass in His perfect timing. He sees all the days of our precious life. He sees the End. He believes in YOU my dear friend. He knows you have the potential to change the world and leave everyone around you absolutely SPEECHLESS at His amazing hand and work in your life...He wants to prove the IMPOSSIBLE..and show you that it IS POSSIBLE....
Getting back to the church plant in Lithuania, I believe this is going to happen within the next 10 years. After I graduate from North Central University in 4 years, I'm hoping to go straight onto the mission field of Europe and Russia. As of now I'm majoring in Intercultural Studies: TEFL (Teaching English As A Foreign Language) and minoring in Worship Arts. So I'd most likely get an English teaching job somewhere in Europe, and eventually plant a church in some city in Lithuania, most like either Vilnius (Lithuania's capital and largest city) or Kaunas (2nd largest city). I would then start the church's music ministry, and it has always been my dream to have a non-profit organization in which I would open a worship arts music training center. This would basically be a place where anyone in Europe or Russia, or whoever is interested would come and be trained to be their country's next worship arts leader. The main thing would be is that we would accept EVERY musician form whatever walk of musical life they come from...they would still audition, but we would ACCEPT EVERYONE. My personal belief is that EVERY precious child of God who has a passion to glorify God through music, has GREAT POTENTIAL to advance his kingdom through worship arts....We shall see where God takes me with all these HUGE, crazy, literally "out of this world" dreams to change the world...I encourage you my dear friend to seek after God and find out what Crazy AwEsome visions/ dreams that he has placed on your beautiful heart...

You don't mean to make me cry, but it's so hard to say goodbye

For my Intercultural Seminar class, we are required to keep a prayer journal 5 days a week. We use the book Operation World by Jason Mandryk. Every calender day there is a certain country you pray for...Recently the country of the day was Russia....and I thought I would just write this prayer out...<3

Jesus, I'll never forget about 3 or 4 years ago where you "accidentally/coincidentally" placed my life in the path of the Russian culture. I happened to run into a band called Everfound at a Christian music festival called Lifelight in Sioux Falls, SD. That band of 4 Russian brothers...how could I possibly forget...I fell in love with their music and their LOVE for YOU Jesus. It has been an amazing 3 years getting to know them and in some aspects "grow up with them". They influenced my music  passion and Russian "obsession" LOL =P in so many ways...I can NEVER thank you enough for all the life lessons I learned through them.......................To this day, I still don't understand why my "friendship" with them had to sadly tragically seemingly "end" this past summer before I came to North Central University....But I don't believe in "Mere Coincidences"....only DIVINE APPOINTMENTS. So there is a reason, why you "accidentally" put the Odnoralov brothers in my path. For now, I know there is a reason why our friendship needs a break...I just don't understand WHY Father God...you chose THIS time....I believe when my future European/Russian music ministry is in full swing, you will bring Everfound back into my life, and all will be well...I can see this glorious day coming within the next 5-10 years...hopefully...if it truly is your will Jesus.I pray that you would bless the Odnoralovs and their band Everfound deeply with Your LOVE  and grace in every possible way Holy Father. I pray for my best friend Jenna, all my Russian friends, and the Russian church that I go to in Osseo, MN....Church of the Nazarene...All of these beautiful friendship gifts would have NOT happened if it wasn't for the Odnoralov brothers. From  the bottom of my heart...Jesus, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU for all the "Russian Blessings" <3 that have happened in my life because of the Odnoralov brothers.....
<3 ~Ruslana Evelyn~ <3
"Say Goodbye" by Sanctus Real: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GyWekI4cIQ

The Last Musician Standing

                                               A violin from the Holocaust

                                            A violinist playing music for children during the Holocaust

                                                    A musician who played the violin to his last dying breath...

So...I've been procrastinating on writing this post that God has inspired me to write for about 2 long weeks...the moment is FINALLY here...

A few weeks ago...after coming back from a church service, I realized that I had to FIGHT for my music passion...you ask...um...why? Obviously majoring in anything within the music field wiether it be music performance or worship arts is going to be a long, hard and bloody (metaphorically speaking of course) battle.I don't know why it took me 10 years to realize the reality of this. The REAL question is...Am I going to fight this MUSIC BATTLE until I'm the last person standing on the front lines?...OR am I going to let the people around me define who I am musically and let doubt, insecurity, and fear break me down? Through much prayer and thought...I have decided  I WILL BE the last musician standing...You say...well that's a DUH...of course you're going to choose that option...it's easier said than done...

I've realized in this precious and beautiful life there will be people who will like you, LOVE you, possibly want to marry you one day.....AND there will be people who are neutral about you, slightly dislike you, ABSOLUTELY dislike, ,or even.....DESPISE you to the END of your living being...and you know what? It's time for me and you to WAKE UP and embrace this reality. I also realize that I will either be LOVED or ENVIED because of my music passion. With this in mind, we MUST choose to be who we were created to be NO MATTER WHAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON THINKS. It is time to get over our selves, and embrace who Christ made us to be....... not...0%.....1%......25%......50%.....75%....not even 100%....but 101%.....We must EMBRACE our true identity in Christ 101% wither the people around us like it or not.

Jesus WILL NOT LEAVE the PASSIONATE....PASSIONLESS. I repeat...Jesus WILL NOT LEAVE THE PASSIONATE...PASSIONLESS...Let those words sink deep into your soul. The dream/vision that God has placed in your heart WILL COME TO PASS in His Perfect timing. Those dreams in your beautiful heart are not there by accident...So when the battle of life is raging and you can't see the end...dearest sister...dearest brother...I'm CRYING OUT...Don't. Give. Up. God WILL COME THROUGH. HE WILL. He Will NEVER leave a God breathed passion hanging. When I get knocked down by the Goliath of majoring in music...I get back up....again...and again....and again....and again....and again....and again....and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...AND AGAIN...AHMEN. Hopefully...you get my point. WE ALWAYS MUST CHOOSE TO GET BACK UP NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care how many years it takes me to master the acoustic guitar...I WILL MASTER IT....I WILL MASTER EVERY musical ability that God has blessed me with...singing and flauting...Most importantly in this life long process, we must remember NEVER to COMPARE ourselves with ANYONE or in this case ANY MUSICIAN. Do you realize that every second you waste your life comparing yourself to someone else...that's one second lost that you could have been practicing and improving your OWN abilities such as music?

I'm ABSOLUTELY DONE comparing myself musically to others...those days have officially ended...I don't FREAKIN care anymore...I'm going to embrace who Christ musically created me to be...and if YOU have a problem with that...you know what?!!?!? DEAL WITH IT. GET OVER IT. I'm not going to stand here and be your target....I will forever be the last musician standing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWkGKtdft3A 

You Began Right Where I Ended

So, I've been wanting to write this blog inspiration since Sunday...I'll never forget how I was in my 4th floor dorm room, and God just completely exploded my mind with this following perspective. Isn't it crazy, how the most crazy/insane/ lifechanging ideas come to us when we least expect it? I LOVE God's colorful inspirational unpredictability....
This past Thursday at North Central University, chapel started at 9:30am instead of 11am in honor of our Prayer/Holy week. We as a student body eventually went on a prayer walk to pray for each building on our campus. I felt as if God were calling me to go pray at the Mensing building...You guessed right....it IS NCU's MUSIC building...the only building that is like a mile walk and NOT connected to NCU's campus. When I got to Mensing, I walked up to the second floor, and found an empty piano practice room. I'll never forget that moment which forever changed my heart. The room was dark, with the only light being in the hall way. I just poured out my hurting Russian/Lithuanian musical soul to God...
"Father God, I just want to lift up Mensing to you. I pray for all the music performance and worship arts majors. I pray for every single musician in this building. Father God you know my heart about NCU"s music ministries. It's bitter, I'm hurt, there are some things in this life that I will never understand why they happened the way they did. I want to lift up all the musicians who feel like giving up on the music passion that you have placed inside their heart. Jesus I pray that you would refresh them, revive them , renew their dying musical spirit in your Holy & precious name, I pray that you would give them the passion to pursue their musical dreams relentlessly and that they would never give up and most important that they would let NO ONE define who they are musically, it's you father God who truly tell us who we are at the end of the day....It breaks my heart to see a musician give up on music, father GoD I've been in that place...SO MANY TIMES....TOO MANY times, if there are any discouraged musicians that you want me to encourage, lead me to them Jesus, I've realized God, today is the day I have to start FIGHTING for my musical dream, it's a true spiritual battle, and every day I have to make a commitment to keep this musical fight going....You never said that it would be easy but you promised that  that the passions you placed in our hearts would come to pass. Jesus it doesn't make sense that you would place a music dream passion on our hearts, only to be left passionless. You bless your people with musical dreams for a reason, and you will fufill them beyond our wildest dreams in YOUR TIMING Father GOd....You will NEVER LEAVE THE PASSIONATE....PASSIONLESS.....Jesus I just lift up all the music performance majors who are struggling, insecure, who feel like they are better then others, I just pray you would meet each musician where they are at, and I pray for full healing and restoration in Jesus' name. Father God, this whole Christian music scene has left me SO DISAPPOINTED, I pray father GOd that you would bring Christian music back to it's original place...original purpose....original heart...how it was meant to be all along...serving you with everything we have inside our hearts...I pray that this would come to pass in your Holy name in NCU's music ministries...I pray that you would humble the proud, and uplift the discouraged and the depressed. I pray for the worship arts leaders who are discouraged or encouraged I pray that you would also continue to give them a burning passion to worship you with everything inside their living being, I pray that we musicians would be real, that we would be down to earth with every person we meet, every person that crosses our paths in this beautiful and amazing life. Jesus I know you called me to North Central University for a reason, I applied to 10....10 colleges father God, and you led ME to NCU...Coincidence? I think not....I believe there is a reason that you placed the passion of Christian music on my heart when I was 8, and why I've gone to Sonshine and Lifelight 7 years in a row. There is a reason you gave me my voice, my flauting skills, and a passion to learn guitar this summer... You do NOT leave the musicially passionate....passionless...Father God I'm just crying out to you from the bottom of my heart, show me where you want me to go with this crazy European/Russian "musicianary" dream..out of all the musicially gifted people in this world, I can't BELIEVE you chose me, I feel underqualified in every possible way, Jesus WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!? WHY ME with this crazy passion? WHY father GOd? WHY!?!?! Into your hands I commit this music passion, have your way in every area of my life especially this whole music thing, I'm so lost right now...musically speaking...Jesus what do you want? Why are all these doors seemingly closing.You promised in your word...that when ONE door shut...ANOTHER would open.........Oh how I pray that you would open THAT door....I pray for the IMPOSSIBLE in Jesus name to happen in my music life...I believe father God that if you were to tell us what would happen in our future that we would be at SUCH A DISBELIEF because our earthly human minds would not be able to comprehend the AMAZING REALITIES you have in store for us....we would think that those things would be too good to be true...Father God, there is a reason why you blessed me with the opportunity to meet and have SO many Christian musician friends over my life time...there is a reason why I met Everfound.....the Odnoralov brothers, I just don't understand why it took me 3 years to realize the actual truth, it breaks my heart in so many ways Jesus that me and my best friend had to go through all that, but in the end you taught us SO many life lessons that we would have not learned otherwise...I know that you are not finished with this whole Russian music thing, it's crazily insane...father God I pray that you would bless EVERY single beautiful FRIEND in my life who got me to where I am today.........Father God....they are the reason I am sitting at this piano bench......in Mensing....on NCU's campus...They know who they are....if it wasn't for them....I wouldn't be the person I am today....From the bottom of my heart THANKYOU....Jesus I pray that you would bless all the faculty and staff and EVERYONE on NCU's campus, Jesus into your hands I commit my spirit...Today Jesus...You began right where I ended...

The Punk Rock Musician

She quietly slipped in through the sunshine wood colored door
found a seat on the right hand side in the corner of the balcony
the aroma of the evening was pitch black
the only light was coming from the illuminated colorfulness of the stage
He wore black skinny jeans,
converse hightops,
A Ramones V-neck shirt,
His hair was a Trevor McNevan blonde fo hawk
 He was singing a catchy punk rock melody
 It seemed to be that he was practicing for his senior recital
His stylish rock voice echoed through the walls of the sanctuary
She sat there, so still silently in awe holding her breath
"What's wrong with my voice!?!?" He says loudly
"I can't sing!, Let's try this again, can you rewind the song back a little?
He tries to sing to his desired perfection,
again,
and again,
and again,
and again,
and again...
"Can I have just one more chance?"
"K, we'll give you one more try, then you're dead" the sound guy says jokingly,
The punk rock musician belts out his melody once last time with anticipation,
then suddenly,
he stops singing,
"I'm dead" he says in a serious disappointed tone,
"Yeah, your voice needs alot of work, let's call it an evening" the sound guy says,
Her heart drops into the depths of the abyss,
Tears, slowly start dripping down her face,
She is in horror what words she has just heard,
the endless unsatisfaction of the punk rock musician,
She is absolutely amazed by his voice,
and he overlooks his musical gift and only sees the negative,
Oh the unending silent cries of the passionate punk rock musician...
She secretly leaves the sanctuary breathlessly,
He looks up,
right at her,
she never notices,
how his heart smiled...

The Boy In The Black Leather Jacket

The lights were dimmed
Everyone in the crowd around me had their eyes closed
A sweet melody flooded through the remaining gap from the stage
There was a calmness, a sense of God's peace
just when I thought life couldn't get any more mysterious
I open my hazel brown eyes
and there was You...
sitting on the floor right in front of me,
as if somehow God purposely staged this moment,
there You were,
the boy in the black leather jacket,
my nostalgic heart jumped suddenly,
I could feel the long awaited tears creep into the corner of my eyes,
I was taken aback to my musical past,
today was His birthday... his birthday....
Oh Father God, why did you have to remind me?
It's been a year, you're 23 now and I'm 18,
why did You have to put this boy with the black leather jacket in front of me?
Don't you realize how hard it is to look back to that beautiful yet tearful heart day?
That day I saw Jesus through His deep brown eyes for the very first time,
His kindness,
His smile,
Our letters,
Your heart...
then the day where life tore Love apart...
that boy in the leather jacket was You.....it was You.....it had to be You...
To this day, I will never understand why God put "You" in front of me,
I don't believe in just "mere coincidences"
only "Divine Appointments"
so one heavenly day  "you will see some day
that all along the way
I was Yours to Hold..." (Skillet)

The Scandalous Death of the God Breathed Soul

I've been wanting to write this post for the longest time...Since I've been at North Central University for exactly 1 MONTH....I've come to the sad conclusion that the musicians of NCU....are not who they claim to be....or at least not who I thought they were....Let me explain my music story....


So one of the main reasons I came to North Central University was because of their AMAZING out of this world music ministry program. Out of all the colleges I applied to (10 total)  NCU stuck out in the end...music wise...Chapel is held Monday through Friday at NCU and then Praise gathering (PG) is held Wednesday evenings from 10pm-12am. (it's basically where you sing worship songs and pray for 2 hours) After realizing these facts I knew musically...or at least up until today, I was called to go to NCU. What I am about to say, may and will probably offend a few or most NCU musicians, so I want to apologize in advance before I express my UNSUGARCOATED perspective about how I feel about NCU's music program/ministries. I pray and hope that EVERY single NCU musician would get the chance to read this...So first of all, I personally believe worship arts should NEVER be a competition....Let me repeat this...I Aiste, believe that WORSHIP ARTS...should NEVER be a competition. If Jesus has placed the relentless passion on your heart to worship him through music, then you should pursue it confidently and don't let anyone tell you differently. I THOUGHT that NCU was a music college that would take you where you are at musically wither you "suck" are okay, or are mozart/beethoven level, and train you to be the worship leader you dreamed your entire life of becoming....Sadly, I found out recently this is not the case...Yes...I just said that...I recently tried out for ENTRY, it's this praise and worship band ministry at NCU....and you know what? DO YOU know what? I think ENTRY is a FREAKIN JOKE...WORSHIP ARTS SHOULD NEVER BE A COMPETITION IF JESUS HAS PLACED THE PASSION OF WORSHIPING HIM THROUGH MUSIC ON YOUR HEART. I'm sorry, but when I auditioned I felt SO intimidated...I was surrounded by music majors, and I'm just a worship arts minor....How fair is that? TO be judged musically to a music MAJOR when you are FREAKIN music MINOR...isn't that a little unfair, or am I just stupidly musically BLIND?  Imagine the students who tried out who aren't even majoring or minoring in music!


Another issue I wanted to address is the "STUCK UP NESS" of SOME NCU musicians...yes, dear NCU musicians I don't know if you've looked in a clear mirror lately, but your nose is "just a little" TOO HIGH. I realize there is a difference between MUSIC PERFORMANCE & WORSHIP ARTS majors....THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. Don't assume just because someone is majoring in MUSIC that both are the same things...It is two COMPLETELY different music culture worlds. In the music performance world I realize that these musicians have been practicing there a** off since the day they came out of their mother's womb. DUH. I know that. I'm not stupid! I realize that music performers practice 24/7 365, they are under ENORMOUS music pressure, and they have not a single second to spare to sit around. AHMEN. MUSIC PERFORMANCE = PURE 100% Competition. That's all it is...that's all it EVER will be. I realize that. I've noticed that when I walk around NCU's campus I can tell when someone is a music performance major just by the cockiness of how they carry themselves. They walk by me, they never say Hi, never smile, ignore me like I'm nothing and the are THEE best. They hold their noses high. I'm NOT saying EVERY musician at NCU is like that...just some...So I came to this music college to be UPLIFTED IN CHRIST by the very musicians that make me feel intimidated  and are BRINGING ME DOWN, music confidence wise, and most importantly spiritually...OUCH.....ouch...ouch..=( After observing Chapel & PG services for a month, and since I've made friends with an ENDLESS amount of Christian musicians growing up, I can tell when a Christian musician is faking or staging their worship and when they are worshiping God with their genuine whole heart. I can see past your cute lil red dress, or your geeky nerd black musician glasses...I'm not STUPID...I know your type...VERY WELL....VERY WELL indeed. Do you realize that when I notice that you are staging and faking your worship during chapel & PG that YOU are actually OFFENDING ME, and helping me DRAW AWAY from God....sound Scary? AHMEN...but it's the sad reality...the REALLY SAD thing is that most of the NCU student body is BLIND...they don't see what I see...So you can fool the ENTIRE NCU student body...but YOU WILL NEVER fool me, Aiste...I see past your scandalous musician EYEZ... On the other hand, I just want to THANK all the genuine musicians on the worship teams at NCU who sing and play their instrument to Jesus "With Everything" that they have inside their beautiful transparent hearts. Your example has FOREVER inspired me, it has touched my heart & kissed my dear Russian soul. I will NEVER be able to thank you enough...seriously...THANK YOU for living up to what it means to be a true worship leader who LOVES Jesus, music & all the NCU people and the people beyond NCU's doors. THis brings me to my other point. Some music performance majors think they are HIGHER  than me, it's like pretty much RACIST, but in a musician sense if you know what I mean. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A MUSIC MAJOR DOES NOT MAKE YOU BETTER THAN ME OR ANYONE ELSE...just thought I'd remind you, YOU seem to have forgotten your ACTUAL place in this world....WE ARE ALL EQUAL IN GOD"S EYES WITHER YOU ARE A MUSICIAN, A STREET SWEEPER, AN ARTIST, A BUISNESS MAJOR, ETC. REALIZE YOUR PLACE....and FREAKIN STAY THERE.....
Now you dear Worship Arts majors....Since Worship Arts = Praising God with your heart or leading people in worship, the whole intention and mindset is different. Worship Arts in it's purest form is not a competition. So overall most worship majors ACTUALLY HAVE a heart, and are very compassionate, friendly, loving and are fun to be around. But at NCU even worship arts HAS BECOME a FREAKIN competition....SAD. DAY...makes me want to leave this freakin college that misled me in so many ways musically. OBVIOUSLY Music performance and worship arts is not a black and white field there are many GREY areas, many reasons, many exceptions....So I hope that my perspective of NCU's music culture makes sense to you and that it challenges your thinking in an unsugarcoated and honest way...

Trevor McNevan of the Christian Punk rock band FM STATIC says it best:
"And you can tell me,
That I can't make a difference 'cause I'm just one,
But one is all it takes to start it
And you can tell me,
That I can't change the world,
Because I'm too young,
But I won't stand here and be your target
And you can push me,
And try to knock me down, but I won't listen,
'Cause I've got nothing left to lose and,
You can hate me, for everything I'm not,
But it won't change this,
'Cause now that I'm here, I'm not moving!!!"