Sunday, October 27, 2013

Evangelism in Lietuva Part 1

Many people have been asking me this question lately....."Why Lithuania?......Kodėl Lietuva?"
I honestly don't even know  where to begin. As I was walking the cold rainy streets of Klaipeda this afternoon, I was reminding myself as to why exactly I was here.... Why would a Lithuanian who lived in America most of her life move BACK to Lietuva...seriously Why? Most people would say that makes COMPLETELY ILLOGICAL SENSE. You know, in some aspects it is true. In the world's eyes moving back to Lietuva doesn't make sense, but in God's eyes it makes perfect sense. The illogical is made logical in God's eyes. I'll never forget the hot desertous 40 Celcius day I was walking the poorest street in Macedonia exactly a year and a half ago, and God simply whispered ONE word to my heart......"Lietuva"....My entire mind, heart and being stood frozen on the dusty abandoned road.....and that was the beginning of one of my greatest adventures with God and my music missionary calling to Eastern Europe.

I simply have a passion to love on all the people of Eastern Europe. God has given me a heart for Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Poland, Ukraine, Russia, Belarus...and so on. When everyone or some people lost hope in their countries, God inspired me with a new hope to bring back. I really believe with my whole heart that God is going to doing many amazing wonders in the Baltics that will forever impact each nation within the next years and decades......

Several days ago, I was chatting with some of my dearest sisters, and we were discussing our vision for Lietuva when it comes to Christ.......What would it take to reach EVERYONE in Lithuania for Christ?
I really enjoy open minded  theological questions that have no definite answer or solution....

I firmly believe in the complete healing and restoration of this country, whatever it takes, I believe it is possibe in God's perfect timing. I completely believe NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD.
I firstly believe ALOT OF PRAYER is going to shake the foundations of Lietuva. Simply praying as often as possible for Lietuva. Also, simply taking the time to get to know each dear soul that God blesses me to cross paths with in this beautiful life. From my perspective,
Loving people for God, is an artistic mess, It's open to interpretation. It's never going to be the same every time, and to Jesus that is simply beautiful.

If I could sit down with every Lithuanian and tell them about Jesus, this is what I would say....

Jesus loves you more than you can ever imagine. He died on the CROSS for your sins, because He loved you that much,  and then rose again so you could have eternal life with Him after this life. I would tell you that Jesus desires to have a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with you, He's simply NOT a historical figure that looks down from heaven and is angry with you...He is ANYTHING but that. He smiles down upon your beautiful soul. You can simply talk to Jesus like He is your best friend. You can share EVERY detail of your life with Him.  The EMPTINESS  you feel every morning you wake up, is the God shaped hole in your heart that only Jesus can fill with His hopeful love. This relationship with Jesus will COMPLETELY TRANSFORM your life, and your PURPOSE and MEANING of life will be found in Him. He can heal you from every scar, every pain, every depression in your life......

I think it's CRUCIAL to simply be who God created you to be. You will then attract people according to who you are. Even if you might stick out in society, and people might judge you and not understand you, just be who you are anyway. I think the world needs more brave souls who are willing to stand out for God's glory. I look back at my own life, and how many times have I MOCKED  my dearest Savior, because I was SO ASHAMED to be myself because I felt SO DIFFERENT from everyone else around me?  I believe at the end of the day, the cost of hiding who I really am to others is alot greater, than pretending to be like everyone else in society.

Loving dearest Lietuva for Jesus will be the greatest challenge of my life, but I know deep down in my heart, that the hardest things in life are ALWAYS the most worth doing in God's eyes.......


Sunday, October 20, 2013

I Forgive You

In response to this past weekend's inspirational speakers at LCC.....
One phrase that really struck me was,

 "I simply had to forget about "him" and move on."

This poetic expression struck my heart in such a way.

I'd like to dedicate this blog post to all my dearest sisters.

Throughout our lives we've met so many guys. Wither it be our annoying brother that we would enjoy shipping in a cardboard box to Siberia to your closest friend to that handsome dark brown hair, deep blue eyed young Russian man.....or whatever in your case.
Some of our relationships with them have gone well, others have completely shattered our hearts into a million stained glass pieces. I would like to focus on the shattered glass that occupies the dusty attic corners of our hearts.
I look back on my life, and I question so many friendships and relationships. I question God everyday why some relationships never worked out. It's like you meet what you thought was the perfect young man, but something happens, and you're left standing there completely lost.
So traditionally, when a young man breaks our hearts, our first reaction? Well, let's be honest, we pretty much want to kill him. Straight.up. Seriously. Our hearts and minds are beyond traumatized and we are emotionally devasted. We simply then try to "FOREVER FORGET HIM"...........but somehow the pain in our hearts still remains, long after that.

As I was praying about this whole idea, God challenged me with the following.
What if we instead of  "Completely forever forgetting...."him"....We PRAYED for him..........Pray that God would bless and completely restore his heart and life. Sounds a little mind blowing, doesn't it? Sounds like something that "he" doesn't really deserve? I know..... But seriously, I BELIEVE in the power of prayer like no other. I don't think we even realize how POWERFUL our prayers truly are. Prayer takes the two hardest coldest most impossibly closed hearts, and softens them into the texture of the most beautiful golden sunset and brings them back to life.

I FORGIVE YOU for being indirect
I FORGIVE YOU for scarring the heart and soul of who I am
I FORGIVE YOU for all the misunderstandings
I FORGIVE YOU for all your dishonesty
I FORGIVE YOU for never really understanding who I was
I FORGIVE YOU for judging me
I FORGIVE YOU for all the times you made me cry my eyes out
I FORGIVE YOU for completely leaving me hanging, standing there in horror, absolutely speechless

Why do I choose to forgive you, may ask? The answer is simple, the reality of applying it can simply be pure hell at times. Since Jesus forgave me of my sins, on the cross, once and for all, I have firmly decided in my heart to "Forgive him"...... I encourage you dear sister to write that forgiveness note wither you send it to him directly, or tear it up and burn it....just knowing in your heart so that you would have a peace.....
I Forgive you.......i forgive

Missing by Flyleaf:

Valuable by Remedy Drive:

Friday, October 11, 2013


Breathe in,
but don't breathe out,
remember the day you forgot how to smile,
your serious haunting poetic death stare,
let it consume your soul,
start wearing see through floral blouses,
where your bra is clearly seen,
 this is the fashion
give in
put on that scandalous wine is everything red lipstick,
you must impress,
oh how you must impress "him",
wear those high heel shoes that make your toes freeze a cold siberian blue,
walk as if you have three men walking behind you
 Let the culture shock kiss your lips like a scandalous betrayal lover,
You thought you knew how to sing?
Who are you to sing?
Believe those lies.
Yeah, right, you let it slip through the cracks of your broken heart a long time ago.
The pressure just murders your soul.
You look at yourself in the mirror,
and cry out in absolute horror,
your knees start shaking as you collapse to the cold hard unwelcoming ground,
and you scream, "My dear God, what have I done with my life !?!?!?"
and He whispers to you,
"My most precious daughter, I love you..........I love you...........I love you,
you for you.
I created you SO unique, SO original, SO beautiful,
you don't need to impress "him",
just be yourself,
and the right "him"
will come along in My perfect timing,
My dearest daughter,
don't be afraid to sing with the voice I gave you,
show them who I am,
show them how I changed your life forever with your precious musical heart,
how I put a heart warming smile on your face, and a sparkling light in your eyes,
and the echoing laughter in your soul,
I pray my most precious daughter, that you NEVER lose the soul of who you are....