The Siberian Survivor

Well, here it is, the blog post I promised that I would write on about my Great Uncle Jurgis Čereška. I got my inspiration to write about him after watching the movie called "The Way Back" yesterday late evening. This movie is about russian/european men who were put in prison camps in Siberia for failing to be "politically correct" with the Russian communism society. Some were spies, actors, others were artists...and in this movie a few brave men decide to escape and WALK across the Himalayan mountains, through Tibet, India, China...it's a story about survival. My Great Uncle Jurgis was a prisoner of war in Siberia,  Russia for 9 long years. I'll never forget when I visited my beautiful country of Lithuania 3 summers ago. I was visiting my relatives for 6 weeks that summer and I was staying at my Močutė's (grandma's) house. She lives in a very small village of about 200 people which is 15 minutes away from one of Lithuania's bigger cities Marijampolė. My močutė's house is made out of white brick. You enter through this green gate that leads up to  the cute little red door after you climb about 10 old concrete steps. In her back yard there is an old white brick rusty tin roofed barn. I'll never forget the times I would go into the second floor of the barn, I'd climb an old fragile wooden ladder and I would start singing my favorite Christian rock songs as the cute baby kittens would stare at me this foreign girl singing her heart out. My mocute had an old dog right by the barn that was in his kennel and she was the type of grandma who COOKED delicious food...even for her PETS...So when you enter my grandma's house through the cute lil red door on the right there is a small room where I was waiting for my great uncle Jurgis to arrive. I'll never forget that moment, when a young good looking European man knocked on my mocute's door and I was the first person he saw so he walked over to me. (Lithuania was the birthplace of where I, Aiste became my crazy outgoing self that all of you know today...so you can just imagine how speechless I was...) His name was Andrews and he was holding a HUGE Saukotis (its a 2ft tall Lithuanian cake made out of stiffened egg whites so the cake looks like it has 100 metal spikes sticking out of it) and my mouth just hung open...here was this hott European guy speaking to me in Lithuanian ( and remember this was 3 years ago so to make things even better I barely knew ANY Lithuanian at the time) and I just stood there explaining to him in English that I don't speak Lithuanian...LOL sigh....AHMEN. eventually I led him to my grandma who took care of everything....thank God! I found out not too long later that Andrews was the guy who drove my great uncle Jurgis around whenever he needed a ride. So we all walked through the kitchen then went to sit around the table in the dining room. My mocute's dining room has pink walls, there is a small tan couch when you enter to the left. Then on the other side there is white framed windows with beautiful white silk curtians. Also over there is the table that Jurgis, my mocute, Andrews, my mom and I sat around. The floor is wooden. I remember seeing  Jurgis for the very first time. He was wearing a dark grey black suit...black leather shoes...and his face...oh his face...you could tell he was a survivor...a warrior...a fighter...it was very aged...hard wrinkle upon wrinkle on his forhead....his whole face a bundle of wrinkles....his skin color a very pale paper white peach after frostbite...a few gray whisps of hair hung loosly on his almost bald head...He was about 1 foot shorter than me and he was ever so slightly hunched over, but still held his persona as a man of honor. His most striking feature...was his deep grey blue eyes...they were the color of Lake Baikal....As he started to share his story....I just stared at this man...I can't believe it took me 3 years to fully appreciate this opportunity I had to listen to my great uncle speak...it brings tears to my eyes...He is the oldest of 9 sibling. My grandma was the youngest. They are the only two sibling still alive in the Cereska family. So he is in his mid 90s...One thing that made me laugh was how he downed shot...after shot....after shot....afer shot......after shot....after shot....after shot......after shot....after shot of 49% proof VODKA., like it was no big deal...LOL talk about a STRONG alcoholic drink! Since I didn't understand much Lithuanian at the time, my mom was my translator. He would talk in his native tongue and my mom would translate what he was saying about every 10-15 minutes or so. My mom said she was AMAZED at what my great uncle had been through...she said that she wished she would have brought a recorder so she could record every word he was saying. She told him that he should right a book of all his Siberian stories! So what got Jurgis through living in a Siberian prison camp for 9 long years? His answer was very simple...His. Faith....WOW. That's it. This was one of those smack in face perspectives of my life...I mean how many times in my life have I complained of my life being unfair and hard, and this man lived in FREAKIN SIBERIA, freezing every night in the cold endless winter nights, barley being fed, surrounded by  endless miles of scary rough vast siberian wilderness, with nowhere to escape to....I wonder what I would have done if I would have been in his place...I really do...I don't think I would have survived, I would have probably given up...How I describe his living conditions does not do justice to the reality of what things were REALLY like. There is NO sugar coating this...It was a living HELL...instead of being deathly HOT....he was surrounded by murderous COLD....The fact that he still believed in God after this, never ceases to amazes me. LIKE WOW. Why he chose to persevere and not give up on life...is that not proof there is truly a GOD out there who loves us more than we will EVER know? I always wonder where I got my gift of perserverance from...like I'm the type of person who will OVERLY persevere to the VERY VERY VERY end of most situations of life I am involved in...sometimes it's a gracious blessing (like me not giving up on my European music ministry dream) other times....it bites me in the butt...LOL So in that aspect, I am SO proud to be related to my uncle Jurgis...how he persevered in the Siberian wilderness seems to have carried over to how I persevered and survived.....highschool, overcoming my type 1 diabetes and other trials of my life. He is one of the reasons I am motivated to learn the Lithuaian language completely one day..I now know about 30% of the language...but one glorious day...I want to be able to sit down, and look into his deep Lake Baikal colored eyes and talk face to face with him about his surviving Siberia stories...To Be Continued...

Originality

Originality

When you are laughed at because of your music dream
They don't know the true song inside your heart

When you are mocked because you are saving sex for marriage
They've never met your AMAZING to die for and worth waiting for Christian guy friends

When someone who you thought was a dear friend betrays you unexpectedly
You realize the full extent of all the pain and heartache they were going through and you learn to Love like Jesus.

When you are considered the outcast because of your crazy idea to change the world
Remember that Jesus will graciously embrace every beautiful idea that you carry to His cross

When you are unkindly critiqued about the picture you just painted
They have forgotten to look at the colorful sunrises of life and see the Creator who inspired you

Originality...not afraid of being who Christ created you to be regardless of what everyone else around you thinks...in this seemingly faceless conforming world...

The Day I FINALLY Woke Up...

Today was one of those unusual days...in my life...if you know what I mean...I sensed that a letter I sent a few days ago had FINALLY been read by  the person whose eyes  much needed to know the truth in love...it was the day where I sat down by my piano, for the first time in many, many, many long months and composed a few lines worth of music for some songs I had written recently...It was the day the melodies, the lyrics...just came to me...It was the day, I would never look at my passion for Christian music the same way again...It was the day....I FINALLY Woke Up....

I realized that an autograph was JUST an autograph...whether it be a signature of my best friend or some famous musician...it was just a stupid insignificant permanent black marking on burnable paper...Since I've been involved with the Christian music world for the past 10 years, it was quite the reality to wake up to. It's obvious a musician is a normal person like everyone else...You're like DUH Aiste...DUH...but I mean it REALLY HIT ME today...like a cool refreshing stream of water sliding down my face...Growing up I was always that crazy music girl who couldn't wait to get that autograph from that musician that inspired me SO MUCH...But there was always something inside of me that thought how insignificant the whole black marking was...I realized that at the end of the day I didn't remember this insignificant black marking but the genuine kindness of how the musician related to me...that's what mattered to me...I remember those beautiful heart touching words they spoke into my life...I don't think they realize how much those precious words of wisdom ever meant to me...

I remember back in March going to this IHOP (International House Of Prayer) Conference in Minnesota, and there was an opportunity for me to be prophisized over. By the term "Prophisized over" It's not as scary as it sounds... basically there were a few strong Christians who had the proven biblical gift of prophecy and they spoke into your life and said how God was going to use you...Sometimes they are dead on right, other times it is a more vague response....So this one young man who propisized over me said that he saw "A  huge spiritual breakthrough" that was going to come into my life through prayer...He said I knew exactly what that mean...I pondered this revelation for quite some time, many MONTHS, and I believe today was the day this spiritual breakthrough in prayer hit me...smack in the face...I realized that for the past 10 years of me being involved in Christian music, I have always been the bystander, you know going to concerts and WATCHING musicians speak into other people's lives...and by 10 years I mean it was SERIOUSLY a GOOD 10 years of an ENDLESS amount of Christian concerts...so many I've lost count of the number of Christian concerts I've been to. It's all good and everything but this summer I started feeling this emptiness as I went to concerts...it was like I've been doing the exact same thing for the past 10 years...same old...same old...don't get me wrong every new Christian concert is always AMAZING and I take something valuable away and my heart is changed in some positive way....but I felt God was TELLING ME something here....I believe he was saying to me that Aiste, you've been WATCHING these Christian concerts for the past 10 years and WATCHING musicians speak into peoples lives...now my Child...it is YOUR Turn....YOU...yes YOU....believe it or not...are going to be that musician who is going to be SPEAKING into other peoples lives...your days of standing on the sideline and WATCHING are ABSOLUTELY OVER my dear blessed child....Was I freaked out by this revelation you may ask? Um...to be honest I saw this one coming....I knew that day where God would tell me to start taking my music life VERY SERIOUSLY was coming....So today I prayed to God, accepting his challenge that he had put in front of me telling him how I was SO SICK of just watching this music thing and that I was SO READY to start this passionate music ministry dream that he had placed on my heart...

Overall, I'm not going to lie the Christian music world is great and all but, in some aspects it left me VERY DISAPPOINTED. At the end of the day, a music industry is a music industry whether it be Christian or Secular...bands need to make money in order to support their dream...traveling on the road 24/7 isn't all cute and happy as it sounds...I'm not trying to be a dream crusher here, just stating what I've realized. I very much appreciate those bands in the Christian music industry who connect to every person in a personal way and those who SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU themselves that they wish they had more time to talk with you about your life and get to know you...those musicians have realized what the TRUE meaning of life is.... I forever will appreciate them...It breaks my heart that I may NEVER get to know them on a more personal level but at least I know their intentions of their hearts...on the other side of things for those musicians who are involved in the Christian music world, who do the whole music thing, let the FAME get to their head, and think they are TOO COOL to be friends with someone as "lowly" as you....they DESERVE to have their lawns forked in JESUS NAME....they are  a FREAKIN joke and I hope their band personally fails in every aspect of life until they realize this true meaning of life...I know that may sound quite rude, but you know what? I DON"T CARE. It's the truth...DEAL WITH IT. I'm not one to sugar coat how I feel about things that are very near and dear and passionately very close to my heart...