Saturday, May 19, 2012

Burning Tears

I'll never forget the evening walking back from Bitola
I walked into the darkest street I've ever been to in Europe,
It hit me like an Auzstwitz Hell I've never felt before,
Europe is dark,
everyday I pass by people who are dead inside, empty, hollow,
in search of a hope that would bring a smile to their face,
My heart started to die as I walked,
Everything within me wanted to collapse onto the cold, wet and lonely street,
and just cry for my dear brothers and sisters in Europe,
who have a mis perception of Jesus
or simply don't know who Jesus is,
My heart walks around heavy,
deeper than the deepest abyss of the deepest ocean,
the cloudy, cold, rainy and wet streets,
standing there with my brown flats and black socks chillingly soaked all the way through seemed too coincidental,
The weather reflected Europe's spiritual heart,
The buildings and architecture leave me speechless at the exterior beauty and the art of how stylish every is brings a smile to my face,
but the interior,
my dear brothers and sisters are dying.....................
I can not stop these painful burning tears from falling..........

Sunday, May 6, 2012


The day came,
I had to make the choice,
I really wanted to avoid this elephant in the room,
I tried to forget about it,
really did,
but I can't be in two places at once,
it's one or the other,
it's now or never,
it's like I'm  in the middle of an invisible tug of war against myself, standing on the edge of a  cliff
the valley below is filled with lush roses, tulips, so much diversity,
there's a couple dark patches that are mysteries of the unknown,
as I stand  on this cliff to my "safe" right, there are the beautiful smiling souls that forever changed my life, memories made that will never be forgotten,
"I sing to the end of the world, Oh my heart, oh my soul, they are shattered and torn...You know..." (Plus One) 
The art of leaving behind everything I've ever known,
is truly a lost art,
few brave souls ever dare to embrace this challenge,
I have to keep repeating to myself,
screaming to myself,
Fear. is. just. a. lie. (Mike Donehey)
there comes a time where people pleasing has to end,
it has to end,
it's very hard to leave the ones we love behind,
and honestly the things God calls us to do sometimes don't completely make sense in our humanly minds,
but I have to trust that when I'm at the seemingly "end", it's truly only the beginning,
You must look at the "impossible" challenge in the eyes,
give it your most  boldest, relentless on the verge of intimidating look,
keep staring it down,
till it doesn't stare at you anymore,
then take that step off the edge,
trusting that God will catch you in His loving arms...

Bring Me To Life by Thousand Foot Krutch:

"Take me to a place where the doors are open,
a lovely little place where no one's broken,
welcome to a world that no one's living,
just wanna break out and escape this prison..."

"Think of every obstacle you've ever faced in your life, and then I want you to yell.....SHUT IT.! I'm sick and tired of all the lies of what you want me to be just SHUT. IT." ~Trevor McNevan~ <3