Monday, September 26, 2011

The Scandalous Death of the God Breathed Soul

I've been wanting to write this post for the longest time...Since I've been at North Central University for exactly 1 MONTH....I've come to the sad conclusion that the musicians of NCU....are not who they claim to be....or at least not who I thought they were....Let me explain my music story....

So one of the main reasons I came to North Central University was because of their AMAZING out of this world music ministry program. Out of all the colleges I applied to (10 total)  NCU stuck out in the wise...Chapel is held Monday through Friday at NCU and then Praise gathering (PG) is held Wednesday evenings from 10pm-12am. (it's basically where you sing worship songs and pray for 2 hours) After realizing these facts I knew musically...or at least up until today, I was called to go to NCU. What I am about to say, may and will probably offend a few or most NCU musicians, so I want to apologize in advance before I express my UNSUGARCOATED perspective about how I feel about NCU's music program/ministries. I pray and hope that EVERY single NCU musician would get the chance to read this...So first of all, I personally believe worship arts should NEVER be a competition....Let me repeat this...I Aiste, believe that WORSHIP ARTS...should NEVER be a competition. If Jesus has placed the relentless passion on your heart to worship him through music, then you should pursue it confidently and don't let anyone tell you differently. I THOUGHT that NCU was a music college that would take you where you are at musically wither you "suck" are okay, or are mozart/beethoven level, and train you to be the worship leader you dreamed your entire life of becoming....Sadly, I found out recently this is not the case...Yes...I just said that...I recently tried out for ENTRY, it's this praise and worship band ministry at NCU....and you know what? DO YOU know what? I think ENTRY is a FREAKIN JOKE...WORSHIP ARTS SHOULD NEVER BE A COMPETITION IF JESUS HAS PLACED THE PASSION OF WORSHIPING HIM THROUGH MUSIC ON YOUR HEART. I'm sorry, but when I auditioned I felt SO intimidated...I was surrounded by music majors, and I'm just a worship arts minor....How fair is that? TO be judged musically to a music MAJOR when you are FREAKIN music MINOR...isn't that a little unfair, or am I just stupidly musically BLIND?  Imagine the students who tried out who aren't even majoring or minoring in music!

Another issue I wanted to address is the "STUCK UP NESS" of SOME NCU musicians...yes, dear NCU musicians I don't know if you've looked in a clear mirror lately, but your nose is "just a little" TOO HIGH. I realize there is a difference between MUSIC PERFORMANCE & WORSHIP ARTS majors....THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. Don't assume just because someone is majoring in MUSIC that both are the same things...It is two COMPLETELY different music culture worlds. In the music performance world I realize that these musicians have been practicing there a** off since the day they came out of their mother's womb. DUH. I know that. I'm not stupid! I realize that music performers practice 24/7 365, they are under ENORMOUS music pressure, and they have not a single second to spare to sit around. AHMEN. MUSIC PERFORMANCE = PURE 100% Competition. That's all it is...that's all it EVER will be. I realize that. I've noticed that when I walk around NCU's campus I can tell when someone is a music performance major just by the cockiness of how they carry themselves. They walk by me, they never say Hi, never smile, ignore me like I'm nothing and the are THEE best. They hold their noses high. I'm NOT saying EVERY musician at NCU is like that...just some...So I came to this music college to be UPLIFTED IN CHRIST by the very musicians that make me feel intimidated  and are BRINGING ME DOWN, music confidence wise, and most importantly spiritually...OUCH.....ouch...ouch..=( After observing Chapel & PG services for a month, and since I've made friends with an ENDLESS amount of Christian musicians growing up, I can tell when a Christian musician is faking or staging their worship and when they are worshiping God with their genuine whole heart. I can see past your cute lil red dress, or your geeky nerd black musician glasses...I'm not STUPID...I know your type...VERY WELL....VERY WELL indeed. Do you realize that when I notice that you are staging and faking your worship during chapel & PG that YOU are actually OFFENDING ME, and helping me DRAW AWAY from God....sound Scary? AHMEN...but it's the sad reality...the REALLY SAD thing is that most of the NCU student body is BLIND...they don't see what I see...So you can fool the ENTIRE NCU student body...but YOU WILL NEVER fool me, Aiste...I see past your scandalous musician EYEZ... On the other hand, I just want to THANK all the genuine musicians on the worship teams at NCU who sing and play their instrument to Jesus "With Everything" that they have inside their beautiful transparent hearts. Your example has FOREVER inspired me, it has touched my heart & kissed my dear Russian soul. I will NEVER be able to thank you enough...seriously...THANK YOU for living up to what it means to be a true worship leader who LOVES Jesus, music & all the NCU people and the people beyond NCU's doors. THis brings me to my other point. Some music performance majors think they are HIGHER  than me, it's like pretty much RACIST, but in a musician sense if you know what I mean. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A MUSIC MAJOR DOES NOT MAKE YOU BETTER THAN ME OR ANYONE ELSE...just thought I'd remind you, YOU seem to have forgotten your ACTUAL place in this world....WE ARE ALL EQUAL IN GOD"S EYES WITHER YOU ARE A MUSICIAN, A STREET SWEEPER, AN ARTIST, A BUISNESS MAJOR, ETC. REALIZE YOUR PLACE....and FREAKIN STAY THERE.....
Now you dear Worship Arts majors....Since Worship Arts = Praising God with your heart or leading people in worship, the whole intention and mindset is different. Worship Arts in it's purest form is not a competition. So overall most worship majors ACTUALLY HAVE a heart, and are very compassionate, friendly, loving and are fun to be around. But at NCU even worship arts HAS BECOME a FREAKIN competition....SAD. DAY...makes me want to leave this freakin college that misled me in so many ways musically. OBVIOUSLY Music performance and worship arts is not a black and white field there are many GREY areas, many reasons, many exceptions....So I hope that my perspective of NCU's music culture makes sense to you and that it challenges your thinking in an unsugarcoated and honest way...

Trevor McNevan of the Christian Punk rock band FM STATIC says it best:
"And you can tell me,
That I can't make a difference 'cause I'm just one,
But one is all it takes to start it
And you can tell me,
That I can't change the world,
Because I'm too young,
But I won't stand here and be your target
And you can push me,
And try to knock me down, but I won't listen,
'Cause I've got nothing left to lose and,
You can hate me, for everything I'm not,
But it won't change this,
'Cause now that I'm here, I'm not moving!!!"

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