The Heartless Musician

Well, it's been since August 24th since I last posted a blog...it's been waaayyyy too long, but recently I have felt inspired to write once again...At this point in my life I am now officially a freshman at North Central University...So many amazing blessings and miracles have happened, I don't even know where to begin....
how about with what I like to personally call "Thee Heartless Musician"....So at North Central University, I'm going to be auditioning on vocals for their worship band called ENTRY. Entry is a praise & worship band that leads worship on Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursdays in the smaller chapel room during the regular sanctuary chapel that happens 5 days a week at NCU...and as I was filling out my audition application, I came across a question that really lit my passionate musician heart on fire...and the question was....."Why do you want to be part of the Entry worship team?" and you can only imagined how I answered this question...this was my response... I call this my "Musician's Statement" "To say that I am very passionate about worship arts is a HUGE understatement...I LOVE IT BEYOND my crazy being! Growing up I was always that girl who looked up to other Christian musicians and was so truly inspired by them and their transparency of how they reflected Christ. I've met and made many musician friends/people over the years and I've been treated kindly by some.......AND been hurt by others... I want to sing/ show the love of Christ to every beautiful dear sister & brother in Christ that God blesses me to cross paths with in this amazing life. I also aspire to be that Christian musician who is transparent, down to earth, and real with people...AND be EVERYTHING that all the other musicians were NOT to me growing up..." 
 After I wrote this thought out I was reminded why I do what I do with my music life...I realized that my passion for worship arts and Christian music is to reach my generation, especially my European/Russian generation for Christ. I want to be my crazy awesome "Lithuanian/Russian" self and love every single beautiful dear sister & brother in Christ that God blesses me to meet and walk life together with through my passion for music. Then I was also taken aback by remembering all those musicians I've met and seen in my life, who had inspired me....and others who totally disgusted me... I realized that when I die and leave this earth, God IS NOT going to say "GREAT music job BOB, you totally beat Suzy, Mark & Fred in every possible musical aspect, especially with your sick guitar solos... you were the best of the best, I am SO proud of you!"...ARe you kidding me? So this means that being a musician on this earth is SO MUCH more than being the best vocalist, electric guitarist, acoustic guitarist, bassist, drummer, flautist, you name it...But the sad reality is dear friends is that even some of.. those so called "Christian" musicians have let the whole "I'm the greatest musician ever FAME" thing get to their heads and beyond...I'm not saying all, but lately I've sadly noticed this recent trend...Personally, it really offends me. I don't appreciate musicians who think they are better than you JUST BECAUSE they may be a music major or they let their Beethoven music skills define who they are. I feel as if most music majors carry around this natural culturally inherited persona in which they are just downright stuck up! Am I stupidly blind or something, or is this not the dirt earth reality? I've been involved with Christian music since I was 8 years old, I've been to an endless amount of Christian concerts, so I believe I have my share of thoughts to elaborate on. I'm the type of person who believes that EVERY SINGLE PERSON who God has blessed with a passion for music has something to offer to the music world. But I feel as if society in general even among the Christian music society only seems to care about "the best of the best" musicians and doesn't give others any chance at all....I'm sorry, but that just doesn't reflect the body of Christ. I believe EVERYONE should be included and everyone who has a music passion should get a chance to share the God breathed melodies that the Creator has ever so gently placed on their precious heart. I feel as if this whole music fame thing, is practically an AMERICAN thing. What if someone had a passion to start a praise & worship band in the poorest area of Ethiopia? Nobody over there is going to care at how overly skilled you are in your voice or instrument...the only thing they will care about is how you LOVED them as your brother & sister in Christ as you shared your passionate heart through music....So the "I'm better than you because I'm a music major and I have the musical skills of Beethoven", is pathetically...absolutely....WORTHLESS. I know this may sound really in your face, but I don't sugar coat the areas of life I am very passionate about...So my challenge I leave you with dear friend is this...What is your "Musician's Statement", and what are your musical intentions at the end of the day?...