So, I've been wanting to write this blog inspiration since Sunday...I'll never forget how I was in my 4th floor dorm room, and God just completely exploded my mind with this following perspective. Isn't it crazy, how the most crazy/insane/ lifechanging ideas come to us when we least expect it? I LOVE God's colorful inspirational unpredictability....
This past Thursday at North Central University, chapel started at 9:30am instead of 11am in honor of our Prayer/Holy week. We as a student body eventually went on a prayer walk to pray for each building on our campus. I felt as if God were calling me to go pray at the Mensing building...You guessed right....it IS NCU's MUSIC building...the only building that is like a mile walk and NOT connected to NCU's campus. When I got to Mensing, I walked up to the second floor, and found an empty piano practice room. I'll never forget that moment which forever changed my heart. The room was dark, with the only light being in the hall way. I just poured out my hurting Russian/Lithuanian musical soul to God...
"Father God, I just want to lift up Mensing to you. I pray for all the music performance and worship arts majors. I pray for every single musician in this building. Father God you know my heart about NCU"s music ministries. It's bitter, I'm hurt, there are some things in this life that I will never understand why they happened the way they did. I want to lift up all the musicians who feel like giving up on the music passion that you have placed inside their heart. Jesus I pray that you would refresh them, revive them , renew their dying musical spirit in your Holy & precious name, I pray that you would give them the passion to pursue their musical dreams relentlessly and that they would never give up and most important that they would let NO ONE define who they are musically, it's you father God who truly tell us who we are at the end of the day....It breaks my heart to see a musician give up on music, father GoD I've been in that place...SO MANY TIMES....TOO MANY times, if there are any discouraged musicians that you want me to encourage, lead me to them Jesus, I've realized God, today is the day I have to start FIGHTING for my musical dream, it's a true spiritual battle, and every day I have to make a commitment to keep this musical fight going....You never said that it would be easy but you promised that that the passions you placed in our hearts would come to pass. Jesus it doesn't make sense that you would place a music dream passion on our hearts, only to be left passionless. You bless your people with musical dreams for a reason, and you will fufill them beyond our wildest dreams in YOUR TIMING Father GOd....You will NEVER LEAVE THE PASSIONATE....PASSIONLESS.....Jesus I just lift up all the music performance majors who are struggling, insecure, who feel like they are better then others, I just pray you would meet each musician where they are at, and I pray for full healing and restoration in Jesus' name. Father God, this whole Christian music scene has left me SO DISAPPOINTED, I pray father GOd that you would bring Christian music back to it's original place...original purpose....original heart...how it was meant to be all along...serving you with everything we have inside our hearts...I pray that this would come to pass in your Holy name in NCU's music ministries...I pray that you would humble the proud, and uplift the discouraged and the depressed. I pray for the worship arts leaders who are discouraged or encouraged I pray that you would also continue to give them a burning passion to worship you with everything inside their living being, I pray that we musicians would be real, that we would be down to earth with every person we meet, every person that crosses our paths in this beautiful and amazing life. Jesus I know you called me to North Central University for a reason, I applied to 10....10 colleges father God, and you led ME to NCU...Coincidence? I think not....I believe there is a reason that you placed the passion of Christian music on my heart when I was 8, and why I've gone to Sonshine and Lifelight 7 years in a row. There is a reason you gave me my voice, my flauting skills, and a passion to learn guitar this summer... You do NOT leave the musicially passionate....passionless...Father God I'm just crying out to you from the bottom of my heart, show me where you want me to go with this crazy European/Russian "musicianary" dream..out of all the musicially gifted people in this world, I can't BELIEVE you chose me, I feel underqualified in every possible way, Jesus WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!? WHY ME with this crazy passion? WHY father GOd? WHY!?!?! Into your hands I commit this music passion, have your way in every area of my life especially this whole music thing, I'm so lost right now...musically speaking...Jesus what do you want? Why are all these doors seemingly closing.You promised in your word...that when ONE door shut...ANOTHER would open.........Oh how I pray that you would open THAT door....I pray for the IMPOSSIBLE in Jesus name to happen in my music life...I believe father God that if you were to tell us what would happen in our future that we would be at SUCH A DISBELIEF because our earthly human minds would not be able to comprehend the AMAZING REALITIES you have in store for us....we would think that those things would be too good to be true...Father God, there is a reason why you blessed me with the opportunity to meet and have SO many Christian musician friends over my life time...there is a reason why I met Everfound.....the Odnoralov brothers, I just don't understand why it took me 3 years to realize the actual truth, it breaks my heart in so many ways Jesus that me and my best friend had to go through all that, but in the end you taught us SO many life lessons that we would have not learned otherwise...I know that you are not finished with this whole Russian music thing, it's crazily insane...father God I pray that you would bless EVERY single beautiful FRIEND in my life who got me to where I am today.........Father God....they are the reason I am sitting at this piano bench......in Mensing....on NCU's campus...They know who they are....if it wasn't for them....I wouldn't be the person I am today....From the bottom of my heart THANKYOU....Jesus I pray that you would bless all the faculty and staff and EVERYONE on NCU's campus, Jesus into your hands I commit my spirit...Today Jesus...You began right where I ended...
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