As the semester comes to a close in 2 weeks here at North Central University, I got a letter in my mail box.... from myself...On my first day of college back in August we all wrote letters to ourselves describing how we wanted or believed God would work in our life within the next few months. I just thought I'd share my letter, that I wrote. I pray for all my friends, all you musicians out there, may you be deeply encouraged and blessed.I also pray that you would be inspired to write your own "Note to Self" as well...=)
August 31st, 2011
Dear Ruslana Evelyn,
You have officially made it through your first semester at North Central. God is going to use you in amazing ways you never thought possible. He holds all your passions and dreams very close to His heart. He will bless you with someone to talk about your dream of majoring in worship arts. He will bless you with the opportunity to be involved in a professional praise and worship band. He will bless you with someone to build up your music confidence in ways you never imagined possible. He will bless you financially for NCU. You will have overcome the Russian music situation that scarred your soul, He will use every broken situation of your life that broke your heart and murdered your soul, and turn it into this beautiful golden sunset masterpiece. He will heal you. He will restore your passionate music soul. He will give you the musical confidence to pursue your vocals, flute and guitar and accomplish His musical dreams that He has placed in your heart.He will bless your passion to LOVE on your generation of European and Russian teens, you will be absolutely speechless at all the miracles and healings you will witness and experience. You can't see what's coming because it is too powerful and beautiful for God to reveal to you at this moment.
You are SO AMAZING,
Love,
Aistė Miškinytė
Song: Already Home by Thousand Foot Krutch
"and I know I haven't always been where You wanted me, standing before You broken down...I am on my knees cause you're everything I need, and I've made a mess of myself on my own, and I won't run away, cause I''m calling out Your name Jesus, and I won't run away..cause I'm already home...<3 ~Thousand Foot Krutch
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Blessed Be Your Name
Today in chapel the Somoan (Hawaiian) band the Katinas led worship and during the song "Blessed Be Your Name" I felt inspired to write the following poem...
Blessed Be Your Name
Father God, blessed be Your name when the sun is shining down on me
when You bless us with Amazing life long college friends who accept us for who we are, the Russian craziness and all
with endless hours of laughter and sorrow is no where in sight
with the confidence to be ourselves as we walk down the streets of Minneapolis in our European geeky nerd disguise
Lord, blessed be Your name...
Blessed be Your name when we finally discover the new church You have called us to go to which seemed to take a million years to find
when God places a vision on our hearts to start our college's first ever Dance ministry and He gives us the bold courage to stand alone for our passion
when we get that opportunity to have our dream job interview
Lord blessed be Your name...
Jesus blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering...
when the ones closest to us seem to have drifted far away and we miss them dearly
when we don't get that job and we are low on finances
when our music passion is burned through the fire and we want to take our acoustic guitar and throw it out our 4th floor window and give up
Lord blessed be Your name...
Blessed be Your name when we're waiting on You to do the miracle of the impossible and provide us with a worship arts opportunity at a church
when musicians judge and reject us because they don't appreciate who God created us to be musically
when we doubt that Jesus can take this broken and shattered life of ours and take these shards of glass and create a uniquely colorful masterpiece...
Father God, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx7hq5VArcs
Blessed Be Your Name
Father God, blessed be Your name when the sun is shining down on me
when You bless us with Amazing life long college friends who accept us for who we are, the Russian craziness and all
with endless hours of laughter and sorrow is no where in sight
with the confidence to be ourselves as we walk down the streets of Minneapolis in our European geeky nerd disguise
Lord, blessed be Your name...
Blessed be Your name when we finally discover the new church You have called us to go to which seemed to take a million years to find
when God places a vision on our hearts to start our college's first ever Dance ministry and He gives us the bold courage to stand alone for our passion
when we get that opportunity to have our dream job interview
Lord blessed be Your name...
Jesus blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering...
when the ones closest to us seem to have drifted far away and we miss them dearly
when we don't get that job and we are low on finances
when our music passion is burned through the fire and we want to take our acoustic guitar and throw it out our 4th floor window and give up
Lord blessed be Your name...
Blessed be Your name when we're waiting on You to do the miracle of the impossible and provide us with a worship arts opportunity at a church
when musicians judge and reject us because they don't appreciate who God created us to be musically
when we doubt that Jesus can take this broken and shattered life of ours and take these shards of glass and create a uniquely colorful masterpiece...
Father God, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name....
Sunday, November 20, 2011
My Own Song
I'll never forget the day I became sick....sick of every song that ever inspired this God breathed soul of mine....You ask...why? Why such a tragic thought?
Last night, I went to this concert that included the bands Grits, Family Force 5, and Owl City at the U of M Field house...Supposedly this was the greatest evangelistic outreach for my generation in the last 10 years. When Owl City took the stage I was taken aback to where this music passion had carried me. I was absolutely amazed by Adam Young. (Lead singer of Owl City) He chose a road that not many passionate musicians choose to travel. His music sticks out in such a melodious beautiful way. No matter what this world throws at him, he chose to stay true to who he is as a musician. He did NOT let this temporary music world define him. He chose ORIGINALITY over musical monotony. I was curious as to who this guy was. I did some research and growing up he suffered from insomnia and would create his electronic music in basement as the late hours of night crept into the glories of dawn. Can you even imagine what that felt like to be in his musical shoes?....I can't even begin to. Also at the concert he explained how he was a college drop out....I, Aiste, for that rare moment of life, wsa absolutely speechless.....OWL CITY WAS A COLLEGE DROP OUT!?!?!?!?!? NO. WAY....but it was true. I was amazed at God's hand in his blessed life. He chose to follow his music passion to the corners of the earth few choose to go...and look at him 5 years later.....WOW....... and the part that forever amazed me was this... He was about to sing his last song...and he gave this speech that I wish to this day I would have been able to record...He was like "Thanks for coming to the show, to see a college drop out, a loser like me, friends, from the bottom of my heart thank you..." I wish I could have taken a picture of my facial expression in that moment. The way he humbled himself musically, calling himself a loser when he is one of the world's greatest music successes...Isn't that absolutely mind blowing?...Just a little...doesn't it just cut one of your heart strings in two? Also, how he addressed the crowd as "Friends"....NOT FANS...but you're like Aiste, all musicians at one point I'm sure have called their fans friends.. FANS? FRIENDS? those 2 words cannot possibly be involved in the same sentence. Just how he said the word "Friends" you could tell it was expressed from the depth of his soul. For a musician of his status to call YOU a friend...that is just simply Golden. I believe we can learn quite a few life lessons from his short speech. Never in my entire musical life, have I EVER heard a musician who ever so passionately said those above words....and ACTUALLY meant it.....I truly believe when he said "from the bottom of his heart"...by God's amazing love and grace it was from the bottom of his precious beautiful heart...
So, with these things on my mind God took me back to my first musical love....the reason why I fell in love with music...I believe we musical souls all have our own story...our own version of this musical timeline...
0-7 years: I was like, MOM! I'm going to be a scientist when I grow up! I love nature, kittens, doggies, leaves...I'll never forget wearing my cute little science nerd outfit on "future career" day when I was in 1st grade...
8 years old: I accepted Christ into my life for the very first time, and He blessed me with my passion for music to glorify him.I fell in love with one of the end credit songs in the Hunchback of Notre Dame II and would sing this song over and over constantly in my room for hours on end. This was also the year my dad gave me my first Christian music CD called The Promise by a band known as PLUS ONE. I would sing their songs for endless amounts of countless time. My heart fell in love with the beauty and depth of the lyrics and their love for God. I was like, God, I'm going to be a Christian musician when I grow up!
10 years old: two words. Trevor. McNevan. This was the year I discovered FM Static and my #1 musical inspiration in my life. You could say this was the time of my life I got my "Canadian emo punk rock edge".....AHMEN. it's always been engrained in my soul ever since. I was like "God....I'm going to be a Canadian emo punk rock musician just like Trevor McNevan when I grow up!"
12 years old: I discovered the band Hawk Nelson....yes that phase where I wanted to marry dearest Jason Dunn for the longest of time. I'll never forget those moments at recess in elementary school my 6th grade year when my best friend Katie and I would just rock out to Hawk Nelson....sigh...good times....good times....Also, that summer was the FIRST time I went to Sonshine Festival....that shy quiet girl standing in the middle of Toby Mac's Diverse City crowd.....that festival forever REDEFINED how I viewed Christian music...It was then the God shaped music hole in my heart intensified in such a way I couldn't contain this passion inside of me any longer...I was like "God, I am SO going to be a punk rock musician who sings to glorify YOU!".....and marry Jason Dunn too of course. (this was also the year I met Jason Dunn for the first time)
13: Went to Sonshine & Lifelight Festival and was involved with as much music as I possibly could handle in school. I was like "God, I SO am going to be a Christian musican one day..."
14: Went to Sonshine & Lifelight Festival, and continued to be musically involved...I was like, "God, I AM SOOOO going to be a Christian musician when I grow up".
15: I visit all of my relatives in Lithuania for 6 weeks in the summer. I come back on the first day of Sonshine in July....A musician by the name of Dawn, (lead singer of Fireflight) forever changes my life with her testimony and perfectionism is eternally banished from my imperfect life! I was like, "God, I am SO going to be a EUROPEAN Christian musician who glorifies you by singing about you to my relatives in Lithuania so they may come to know you and any other European who needs you Jesus." Also, that year at Lifelight Festival in September I was walking the sunset streets and in one of the merch tents I walked by I noticed 4 handsome guys about my age standing behind their merch table. I glance one of their shirt's that says "I <3 EF" and think nothing of it........................for a while
16: I go to Sonshine Festival and Lifelight Festival......At Lifelight...I'm that LOUD CRAZY screaming freaking out girl (aka to this day known as my usual Aiste self) who shyly makes my way over to introduce myself for the first time to THAT band "EF" aka EVERFOUND....that I discovered last year...I'll never forget that moment I was like "Hi, I'm Aiste, the keyboardist says "I'm Ruslan..." then I introduce myself to the lead singer...He's like "I'm Nikita, where are you from?" I'm like "I'm from Lithuania"...and he's like wow, "We are 4 brothers and we are from..........I'm sure you know what happened next..........it's on the tip of your tongue....He said........we are from.........RUSSIA.........I was like God, "I am SO going to be a European/Russian Christian musician one day!!!!!!"
17: I go to this week long christian conference in Columbus, Ohio with my youth group called CHALLENGE. This is where I rededicated my life to Christ and left my 4 years of deep dark soul shattering depression at the cross once and for all. God COMPLETELY transforms my heart and my life......I also go to Sonshine and send Everfound an 8 PAGE letter just before Lifelight....At Lifelight I encounter those 4 handsome Russians once again and meet my musical best friend Jenna through this Russian passion .......I was like God, "I am SO going to be a EUROPEAN/RUSSIAN "MUSICIANARY" who glorfies you through music while ministering to my european/russian generation. My passion for going to music concerts slowly starts to change...
18: I go to Sonshine for the 7th year in a row working backstage security and skip Lifelight Festival 2011 That summer while I'm visiting my best friend Jenna we decide to start our band called Ruslana Evelyn & Vika....I slowly but surely realize the true reality of this whole Christian music scene...It hits me deep....I realize that the Christian music I grew up loving, those songs that I sang on the Refuge over and over and over again memorizing every lyric, guitar solo.......had slowly start to lose it's passion in my heart....going to concerts only made my God shaped music hole scream out in agony..... I was like, "God, why this sudden change?, why is my heart being torn musically? WHY? Why am I supposedly SICK of all the songs your poured into my heart as a child and as a teen?.....Being a college student at North Central University, I realized that I was entering a new musical season....the old was coming to an end...everything I grew up knowing was about to change.... I was like..."God, I WILL BE a European/Russian musicianary who glorifies you through my passion of music to reach my generation of Europeans and Russians, oh and as for genre style I WILL be the LITHUANIAN emo punk rock girl verison of FM Static/Hawk Nelson...
God simply whispered this... "Dearest Daughter, the time has come for you to write your OWN song..."
Last night, I went to this concert that included the bands Grits, Family Force 5, and Owl City at the U of M Field house...Supposedly this was the greatest evangelistic outreach for my generation in the last 10 years. When Owl City took the stage I was taken aback to where this music passion had carried me. I was absolutely amazed by Adam Young. (Lead singer of Owl City) He chose a road that not many passionate musicians choose to travel. His music sticks out in such a melodious beautiful way. No matter what this world throws at him, he chose to stay true to who he is as a musician. He did NOT let this temporary music world define him. He chose ORIGINALITY over musical monotony. I was curious as to who this guy was. I did some research and growing up he suffered from insomnia and would create his electronic music in basement as the late hours of night crept into the glories of dawn. Can you even imagine what that felt like to be in his musical shoes?....I can't even begin to. Also at the concert he explained how he was a college drop out....I, Aiste, for that rare moment of life, wsa absolutely speechless.....OWL CITY WAS A COLLEGE DROP OUT!?!?!?!?!? NO. WAY....but it was true. I was amazed at God's hand in his blessed life. He chose to follow his music passion to the corners of the earth few choose to go...and look at him 5 years later.....WOW....... and the part that forever amazed me was this... He was about to sing his last song...and he gave this speech that I wish to this day I would have been able to record...He was like "Thanks for coming to the show, to see a college drop out, a loser like me, friends, from the bottom of my heart thank you..." I wish I could have taken a picture of my facial expression in that moment. The way he humbled himself musically, calling himself a loser when he is one of the world's greatest music successes...Isn't that absolutely mind blowing?...Just a little...doesn't it just cut one of your heart strings in two? Also, how he addressed the crowd as "Friends"....NOT FANS...but you're like Aiste, all musicians at one point I'm sure have called their fans friends.. FANS? FRIENDS? those 2 words cannot possibly be involved in the same sentence. Just how he said the word "Friends" you could tell it was expressed from the depth of his soul. For a musician of his status to call YOU a friend...that is just simply Golden. I believe we can learn quite a few life lessons from his short speech. Never in my entire musical life, have I EVER heard a musician who ever so passionately said those above words....and ACTUALLY meant it.....I truly believe when he said "from the bottom of his heart"...by God's amazing love and grace it was from the bottom of his precious beautiful heart...
So, with these things on my mind God took me back to my first musical love....the reason why I fell in love with music...I believe we musical souls all have our own story...our own version of this musical timeline...
0-7 years: I was like, MOM! I'm going to be a scientist when I grow up! I love nature, kittens, doggies, leaves...I'll never forget wearing my cute little science nerd outfit on "future career" day when I was in 1st grade...
8 years old: I accepted Christ into my life for the very first time, and He blessed me with my passion for music to glorify him.I fell in love with one of the end credit songs in the Hunchback of Notre Dame II and would sing this song over and over constantly in my room for hours on end. This was also the year my dad gave me my first Christian music CD called The Promise by a band known as PLUS ONE. I would sing their songs for endless amounts of countless time. My heart fell in love with the beauty and depth of the lyrics and their love for God. I was like, God, I'm going to be a Christian musician when I grow up!
10 years old: two words. Trevor. McNevan. This was the year I discovered FM Static and my #1 musical inspiration in my life. You could say this was the time of my life I got my "Canadian emo punk rock edge".....AHMEN. it's always been engrained in my soul ever since. I was like "God....I'm going to be a Canadian emo punk rock musician just like Trevor McNevan when I grow up!"
12 years old: I discovered the band Hawk Nelson....yes that phase where I wanted to marry dearest Jason Dunn for the longest of time. I'll never forget those moments at recess in elementary school my 6th grade year when my best friend Katie and I would just rock out to Hawk Nelson....sigh...good times....good times....Also, that summer was the FIRST time I went to Sonshine Festival....that shy quiet girl standing in the middle of Toby Mac's Diverse City crowd.....that festival forever REDEFINED how I viewed Christian music...It was then the God shaped music hole in my heart intensified in such a way I couldn't contain this passion inside of me any longer...I was like "God, I am SO going to be a punk rock musician who sings to glorify YOU!".....and marry Jason Dunn too of course. (this was also the year I met Jason Dunn for the first time)
13: Went to Sonshine & Lifelight Festival and was involved with as much music as I possibly could handle in school. I was like "God, I SO am going to be a Christian musican one day..."
14: Went to Sonshine & Lifelight Festival, and continued to be musically involved...I was like, "God, I AM SOOOO going to be a Christian musician when I grow up".
15: I visit all of my relatives in Lithuania for 6 weeks in the summer. I come back on the first day of Sonshine in July....A musician by the name of Dawn, (lead singer of Fireflight) forever changes my life with her testimony and perfectionism is eternally banished from my imperfect life! I was like, "God, I am SO going to be a EUROPEAN Christian musician who glorifies you by singing about you to my relatives in Lithuania so they may come to know you and any other European who needs you Jesus." Also, that year at Lifelight Festival in September I was walking the sunset streets and in one of the merch tents I walked by I noticed 4 handsome guys about my age standing behind their merch table. I glance one of their shirt's that says "I <3 EF" and think nothing of it........................for a while
16: I go to Sonshine Festival and Lifelight Festival......At Lifelight...I'm that LOUD CRAZY screaming freaking out girl (aka to this day known as my usual Aiste self) who shyly makes my way over to introduce myself for the first time to THAT band "EF" aka EVERFOUND....that I discovered last year...I'll never forget that moment I was like "Hi, I'm Aiste, the keyboardist says "I'm Ruslan..." then I introduce myself to the lead singer...He's like "I'm Nikita, where are you from?" I'm like "I'm from Lithuania"...and he's like wow, "We are 4 brothers and we are from..........I'm sure you know what happened next..........it's on the tip of your tongue....He said........we are from.........RUSSIA.........I was like God, "I am SO going to be a European/Russian Christian musician one day!!!!!!"
17: I go to this week long christian conference in Columbus, Ohio with my youth group called CHALLENGE. This is where I rededicated my life to Christ and left my 4 years of deep dark soul shattering depression at the cross once and for all. God COMPLETELY transforms my heart and my life......I also go to Sonshine and send Everfound an 8 PAGE letter just before Lifelight....At Lifelight I encounter those 4 handsome Russians once again and meet my musical best friend Jenna through this Russian passion .......I was like God, "I am SO going to be a EUROPEAN/RUSSIAN "MUSICIANARY" who glorfies you through music while ministering to my european/russian generation. My passion for going to music concerts slowly starts to change...
18: I go to Sonshine for the 7th year in a row working backstage security and skip Lifelight Festival 2011 That summer while I'm visiting my best friend Jenna we decide to start our band called Ruslana Evelyn & Vika....I slowly but surely realize the true reality of this whole Christian music scene...It hits me deep....I realize that the Christian music I grew up loving, those songs that I sang on the Refuge over and over and over again memorizing every lyric, guitar solo.......had slowly start to lose it's passion in my heart....going to concerts only made my God shaped music hole scream out in agony..... I was like, "God, why this sudden change?, why is my heart being torn musically? WHY? Why am I supposedly SICK of all the songs your poured into my heart as a child and as a teen?.....Being a college student at North Central University, I realized that I was entering a new musical season....the old was coming to an end...everything I grew up knowing was about to change.... I was like..."God, I WILL BE a European/Russian musicianary who glorifies you through my passion of music to reach my generation of Europeans and Russians, oh and as for genre style I WILL be the LITHUANIAN emo punk rock girl verison of FM Static/Hawk Nelson...
God simply whispered this... "Dearest Daughter, the time has come for you to write your OWN song..."
Monday, October 31, 2011
Church Planting in Lithuania
summer 2008....<3
Have you ever been "THAT person" who had this REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HUGE dream to change the world? and...every single person around you, even your closest friends, thought you were absolutely out of your mind insanely crazy? Well, I can totally relate to you dear friend. This past Wed-Friday at my university, there was an event that took place called the START Conference. It's basically an event that encourages our generation to plant churches all across America and the world...I'll never forget after the conference on Friday morning walking up to the stage area to be prayed over. The speaker invited anyone who needed prayer over a certain vision or dream God had placed on their heart or any request in general. It was actually a funny/deep moment...the humorous side...the dear blessed elderly man who prayed with me thought my name was "ICEY"...and I'm sure you can just picture me standing there as he says "Dear Heavenly Father please bless ICEY..." and I did let a small little smirk rip through the corner of my scandalous smile...it was freakin hilarious...on another note, I'll never forget that moment where I gave my vision of planting a church in Lithuania one soon day to God....It was such a deep, moving, soul shattering moment...I knew that God wanted me to be a European musicianary...but plant a church in Eastern Europe? I was like God?? R U SERIOUS? ME. Aiste? ReALLY? You trust me THAT MUCH? R U sure you chose the right girl Jesus? But Father God, I don't even speak 2 years worth of Russian...God said, "Aiste, the people of Lithuania speak LITHUANIAN....that is their first language, Russian is their 2nd....no excuses now dear blessed daughter" and I'm like "Jesus, my strength within the church would be the music ministry part....I'll gladly be a worship leader, but God who's going to be the pastor, where are all the other people who are essential for a church body going to come from?" He reassured me,"My timing is perfect, trust me, I will bring those people into your life at the right moment" But Jesus, I mean SERIOUSLY, I haven't met a guy that I could marry who would be willing to be a missionary with me in Lithuania, 99% of the guys I've met in my life don't even know where LITHUANIA is!....=P God said, "Well tomorrow at 10:52am as you are walking the streets of NCU you'll run into this guy who is head over heals in LOVE with Lithuanians AND LITHUANIA" ( JUST KIDDING....LOL....I'm still trying to figure that part out...God is still keeping that secret...lol) Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt.Excuses.Doubt. I believe these are the 2 main reasons why we become afraid of the unknown when God blesses us with His vision and dreams that he places on our hearts. We come up with every excuse to get out of it. We doubt that God could actually use us in such great ways....but the TRUTH is....He WANTS to bring those visions and dreams he has placed on our hearts come to pass in His perfect timing. He sees all the days of our precious life. He sees the End. He believes in YOU my dear friend. He knows you have the potential to change the world and leave everyone around you absolutely SPEECHLESS at His amazing hand and work in your life...He wants to prove the IMPOSSIBLE..and show you that it IS POSSIBLE....
Getting back to the church plant in Lithuania, I believe this is going to happen within the next 10 years. After I graduate from North Central University in 4 years, I'm hoping to go straight onto the mission field of Europe and Russia. As of now I'm majoring in Intercultural Studies: TEFL (Teaching English As A Foreign Language) and minoring in Worship Arts. So I'd most likely get an English teaching job somewhere in Europe, and eventually plant a church in some city in Lithuania, most like either Vilnius (Lithuania's capital and largest city) or Kaunas (2nd largest city). I would then start the church's music ministry, and it has always been my dream to have a non-profit organization in which I would open a worship arts music training center. This would basically be a place where anyone in Europe or Russia, or whoever is interested would come and be trained to be their country's next worship arts leader. The main thing would be is that we would accept EVERY musician form whatever walk of musical life they come from...they would still audition, but we would ACCEPT EVERYONE. My personal belief is that EVERY precious child of God who has a passion to glorify God through music, has GREAT POTENTIAL to advance his kingdom through worship arts....We shall see where God takes me with all these HUGE, crazy, literally "out of this world" dreams to change the world...I encourage you my dear friend to seek after God and find out what Crazy AwEsome visions/ dreams that he has placed on your beautiful heart...
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
You don't mean to make me cry, but it's so hard to say goodbye
For my Intercultural Seminar class, we are required to keep a prayer journal 5 days a week. We use the book Operation World by Jason Mandryk. Every calender day there is a certain country you pray for...Recently the country of the day was Russia....and I thought I would just write this prayer out...<3
Jesus, I'll never forget about 3 or 4 years ago where you "accidentally/coincidentally" placed my life in the path of the Russian culture. I happened to run into a band called Everfound at a Christian music festival called Lifelight in Sioux Falls, SD. That band of 4 Russian brothers...how could I possibly forget...I fell in love with their music and their LOVE for YOU Jesus. It has been an amazing 3 years getting to know them and in some aspects "grow up with them". They influenced my music passion and Russian "obsession" LOL =P in so many ways...I can NEVER thank you enough for all the life lessons I learned through them.......................To this day, I still don't understand why my "friendship" with them had to sadly tragically seemingly "end" this past summer before I came to North Central University....But I don't believe in "Mere Coincidences"....only DIVINE APPOINTMENTS. So there is a reason, why you "accidentally" put the Odnoralov brothers in my path. For now, I know there is a reason why our friendship needs a break...I just don't understand WHY Father God...you chose THIS time....I believe when my future European/Russian music ministry is in full swing, you will bring Everfound back into my life, and all will be well...I can see this glorious day coming within the next 5-10 years...hopefully...if it truly is your will Jesus.I pray that you would bless the Odnoralovs and their band Everfound deeply with Your LOVE and grace in every possible way Holy Father. I pray for my best friend Jenna, all my Russian friends, and the Russian church that I go to in Osseo, MN....Church of the Nazarene...All of these beautiful friendship gifts would have NOT happened if it wasn't for the Odnoralov brothers. From the bottom of my heart...Jesus, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU for all the "Russian Blessings" <3 that have happened in my life because of the Odnoralov brothers.....
<3 ~Ruslana Evelyn~ <3
"Say Goodbye" by Sanctus Real: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GyWekI4cIQ
Jesus, I'll never forget about 3 or 4 years ago where you "accidentally/coincidentally" placed my life in the path of the Russian culture. I happened to run into a band called Everfound at a Christian music festival called Lifelight in Sioux Falls, SD. That band of 4 Russian brothers...how could I possibly forget...I fell in love with their music and their LOVE for YOU Jesus. It has been an amazing 3 years getting to know them and in some aspects "grow up with them". They influenced my music passion and Russian "obsession" LOL =P in so many ways...I can NEVER thank you enough for all the life lessons I learned through them.......................To this day, I still don't understand why my "friendship" with them had to sadly tragically seemingly "end" this past summer before I came to North Central University....But I don't believe in "Mere Coincidences"....only DIVINE APPOINTMENTS. So there is a reason, why you "accidentally" put the Odnoralov brothers in my path. For now, I know there is a reason why our friendship needs a break...I just don't understand WHY Father God...you chose THIS time....I believe when my future European/Russian music ministry is in full swing, you will bring Everfound back into my life, and all will be well...I can see this glorious day coming within the next 5-10 years...hopefully...if it truly is your will Jesus.I pray that you would bless the Odnoralovs and their band Everfound deeply with Your LOVE and grace in every possible way Holy Father. I pray for my best friend Jenna, all my Russian friends, and the Russian church that I go to in Osseo, MN....Church of the Nazarene...All of these beautiful friendship gifts would have NOT happened if it wasn't for the Odnoralov brothers. From the bottom of my heart...Jesus, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU for all the "Russian Blessings" <3 that have happened in my life because of the Odnoralov brothers.....
<3 ~Ruslana Evelyn~ <3
"Say Goodbye" by Sanctus Real: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GyWekI4cIQ
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Last Musician Standing
So...I've been procrastinating on writing this post that God has inspired me to write for about 2 long weeks...the moment is FINALLY here...
A few weeks ago...after coming back from a church service, I realized that I had to FIGHT for my music passion...you ask...um...why? Obviously majoring in anything within the music field wiether it be music performance or worship arts is going to be a long, hard and bloody (metaphorically speaking of course) battle.I don't know why it took me 10 years to realize the reality of this. The REAL question is...Am I going to fight this MUSIC BATTLE until I'm the last person standing on the front lines?...OR am I going to let the people around me define who I am musically and let doubt, insecurity, and fear break me down? Through much prayer and thought...I have decided I WILL BE the last musician standing...You say...well that's a DUH...of course you're going to choose that option...it's easier said than done...
I've realized in this precious and beautiful life there will be people who will like you, LOVE you, possibly want to marry you one day.....AND there will be people who are neutral about you, slightly dislike you, ABSOLUTELY dislike, ,or even.....DESPISE you to the END of your living being...and you know what? It's time for me and you to WAKE UP and embrace this reality. I also realize that I will either be LOVED or ENVIED because of my music passion. With this in mind, we MUST choose to be who we were created to be NO MATTER WHAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON THINKS. It is time to get over our selves, and embrace who Christ made us to be....... not...0%.....1%......25%......50%.....75%....not even 100%....but 101%.....We must EMBRACE our true identity in Christ 101% wither the people around us like it or not.
Jesus WILL NOT LEAVE the PASSIONATE....PASSIONLESS. I repeat...Jesus WILL NOT LEAVE THE PASSIONATE...PASSIONLESS...Let those words sink deep into your soul. The dream/vision that God has placed in your heart WILL COME TO PASS in His Perfect timing. Those dreams in your beautiful heart are not there by accident...So when the battle of life is raging and you can't see the end...dearest sister...dearest brother...I'm CRYING OUT...Don't. Give. Up. God WILL COME THROUGH. HE WILL. He Will NEVER leave a God breathed passion hanging. When I get knocked down by the Goliath of majoring in music...I get back up....again...and again....and again....and again....and again....and again....and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...AND AGAIN...AHMEN. Hopefully...you get my point. WE ALWAYS MUST CHOOSE TO GET BACK UP NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care how many years it takes me to master the acoustic guitar...I WILL MASTER IT....I WILL MASTER EVERY musical ability that God has blessed me with...singing and flauting...Most importantly in this life long process, we must remember NEVER to COMPARE ourselves with ANYONE or in this case ANY MUSICIAN. Do you realize that every second you waste your life comparing yourself to someone else...that's one second lost that you could have been practicing and improving your OWN abilities such as music?
I'm ABSOLUTELY DONE comparing myself musically to others...those days have officially ended...I don't FREAKIN care anymore...I'm going to embrace who Christ musically created me to be...and if YOU have a problem with that...you know what?!!?!? DEAL WITH IT. GET OVER IT. I'm not going to stand here and be your target....I will forever be the last musician standing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWkGKtdft3A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWkGKtdft3A
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
You Began Right Where I Ended
So, I've been wanting to write this blog inspiration since Sunday...I'll never forget how I was in my 4th floor dorm room, and God just completely exploded my mind with this following perspective. Isn't it crazy, how the most crazy/insane/ lifechanging ideas come to us when we least expect it? I LOVE God's colorful inspirational unpredictability....
This past Thursday at North Central University, chapel started at 9:30am instead of 11am in honor of our Prayer/Holy week. We as a student body eventually went on a prayer walk to pray for each building on our campus. I felt as if God were calling me to go pray at the Mensing building...You guessed right....it IS NCU's MUSIC building...the only building that is like a mile walk and NOT connected to NCU's campus. When I got to Mensing, I walked up to the second floor, and found an empty piano practice room. I'll never forget that moment which forever changed my heart. The room was dark, with the only light being in the hall way. I just poured out my hurting Russian/Lithuanian musical soul to God...
"Father God, I just want to lift up Mensing to you. I pray for all the music performance and worship arts majors. I pray for every single musician in this building. Father God you know my heart about NCU"s music ministries. It's bitter, I'm hurt, there are some things in this life that I will never understand why they happened the way they did. I want to lift up all the musicians who feel like giving up on the music passion that you have placed inside their heart. Jesus I pray that you would refresh them, revive them , renew their dying musical spirit in your Holy & precious name, I pray that you would give them the passion to pursue their musical dreams relentlessly and that they would never give up and most important that they would let NO ONE define who they are musically, it's you father God who truly tell us who we are at the end of the day....It breaks my heart to see a musician give up on music, father GoD I've been in that place...SO MANY TIMES....TOO MANY times, if there are any discouraged musicians that you want me to encourage, lead me to them Jesus, I've realized God, today is the day I have to start FIGHTING for my musical dream, it's a true spiritual battle, and every day I have to make a commitment to keep this musical fight going....You never said that it would be easy but you promised that that the passions you placed in our hearts would come to pass. Jesus it doesn't make sense that you would place a music dream passion on our hearts, only to be left passionless. You bless your people with musical dreams for a reason, and you will fufill them beyond our wildest dreams in YOUR TIMING Father GOd....You will NEVER LEAVE THE PASSIONATE....PASSIONLESS.....Jesus I just lift up all the music performance majors who are struggling, insecure, who feel like they are better then others, I just pray you would meet each musician where they are at, and I pray for full healing and restoration in Jesus' name. Father God, this whole Christian music scene has left me SO DISAPPOINTED, I pray father GOd that you would bring Christian music back to it's original place...original purpose....original heart...how it was meant to be all along...serving you with everything we have inside our hearts...I pray that this would come to pass in your Holy name in NCU's music ministries...I pray that you would humble the proud, and uplift the discouraged and the depressed. I pray for the worship arts leaders who are discouraged or encouraged I pray that you would also continue to give them a burning passion to worship you with everything inside their living being, I pray that we musicians would be real, that we would be down to earth with every person we meet, every person that crosses our paths in this beautiful and amazing life. Jesus I know you called me to North Central University for a reason, I applied to 10....10 colleges father God, and you led ME to NCU...Coincidence? I think not....I believe there is a reason that you placed the passion of Christian music on my heart when I was 8, and why I've gone to Sonshine and Lifelight 7 years in a row. There is a reason you gave me my voice, my flauting skills, and a passion to learn guitar this summer... You do NOT leave the musicially passionate....passionless...Father God I'm just crying out to you from the bottom of my heart, show me where you want me to go with this crazy European/Russian "musicianary" dream..out of all the musicially gifted people in this world, I can't BELIEVE you chose me, I feel underqualified in every possible way, Jesus WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!? WHY ME with this crazy passion? WHY father GOd? WHY!?!?! Into your hands I commit this music passion, have your way in every area of my life especially this whole music thing, I'm so lost right now...musically speaking...Jesus what do you want? Why are all these doors seemingly closing.You promised in your word...that when ONE door shut...ANOTHER would open.........Oh how I pray that you would open THAT door....I pray for the IMPOSSIBLE in Jesus name to happen in my music life...I believe father God that if you were to tell us what would happen in our future that we would be at SUCH A DISBELIEF because our earthly human minds would not be able to comprehend the AMAZING REALITIES you have in store for us....we would think that those things would be too good to be true...Father God, there is a reason why you blessed me with the opportunity to meet and have SO many Christian musician friends over my life time...there is a reason why I met Everfound.....the Odnoralov brothers, I just don't understand why it took me 3 years to realize the actual truth, it breaks my heart in so many ways Jesus that me and my best friend had to go through all that, but in the end you taught us SO many life lessons that we would have not learned otherwise...I know that you are not finished with this whole Russian music thing, it's crazily insane...father God I pray that you would bless EVERY single beautiful FRIEND in my life who got me to where I am today.........Father God....they are the reason I am sitting at this piano bench......in Mensing....on NCU's campus...They know who they are....if it wasn't for them....I wouldn't be the person I am today....From the bottom of my heart THANKYOU....Jesus I pray that you would bless all the faculty and staff and EVERYONE on NCU's campus, Jesus into your hands I commit my spirit...Today Jesus...You began right where I ended...
This past Thursday at North Central University, chapel started at 9:30am instead of 11am in honor of our Prayer/Holy week. We as a student body eventually went on a prayer walk to pray for each building on our campus. I felt as if God were calling me to go pray at the Mensing building...You guessed right....it IS NCU's MUSIC building...the only building that is like a mile walk and NOT connected to NCU's campus. When I got to Mensing, I walked up to the second floor, and found an empty piano practice room. I'll never forget that moment which forever changed my heart. The room was dark, with the only light being in the hall way. I just poured out my hurting Russian/Lithuanian musical soul to God...
"Father God, I just want to lift up Mensing to you. I pray for all the music performance and worship arts majors. I pray for every single musician in this building. Father God you know my heart about NCU"s music ministries. It's bitter, I'm hurt, there are some things in this life that I will never understand why they happened the way they did. I want to lift up all the musicians who feel like giving up on the music passion that you have placed inside their heart. Jesus I pray that you would refresh them, revive them , renew their dying musical spirit in your Holy & precious name, I pray that you would give them the passion to pursue their musical dreams relentlessly and that they would never give up and most important that they would let NO ONE define who they are musically, it's you father God who truly tell us who we are at the end of the day....It breaks my heart to see a musician give up on music, father GoD I've been in that place...SO MANY TIMES....TOO MANY times, if there are any discouraged musicians that you want me to encourage, lead me to them Jesus, I've realized God, today is the day I have to start FIGHTING for my musical dream, it's a true spiritual battle, and every day I have to make a commitment to keep this musical fight going....You never said that it would be easy but you promised that that the passions you placed in our hearts would come to pass. Jesus it doesn't make sense that you would place a music dream passion on our hearts, only to be left passionless. You bless your people with musical dreams for a reason, and you will fufill them beyond our wildest dreams in YOUR TIMING Father GOd....You will NEVER LEAVE THE PASSIONATE....PASSIONLESS.....Jesus I just lift up all the music performance majors who are struggling, insecure, who feel like they are better then others, I just pray you would meet each musician where they are at, and I pray for full healing and restoration in Jesus' name. Father God, this whole Christian music scene has left me SO DISAPPOINTED, I pray father GOd that you would bring Christian music back to it's original place...original purpose....original heart...how it was meant to be all along...serving you with everything we have inside our hearts...I pray that this would come to pass in your Holy name in NCU's music ministries...I pray that you would humble the proud, and uplift the discouraged and the depressed. I pray for the worship arts leaders who are discouraged or encouraged I pray that you would also continue to give them a burning passion to worship you with everything inside their living being, I pray that we musicians would be real, that we would be down to earth with every person we meet, every person that crosses our paths in this beautiful and amazing life. Jesus I know you called me to North Central University for a reason, I applied to 10....10 colleges father God, and you led ME to NCU...Coincidence? I think not....I believe there is a reason that you placed the passion of Christian music on my heart when I was 8, and why I've gone to Sonshine and Lifelight 7 years in a row. There is a reason you gave me my voice, my flauting skills, and a passion to learn guitar this summer... You do NOT leave the musicially passionate....passionless...Father God I'm just crying out to you from the bottom of my heart, show me where you want me to go with this crazy European/Russian "musicianary" dream..out of all the musicially gifted people in this world, I can't BELIEVE you chose me, I feel underqualified in every possible way, Jesus WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!? WHY ME with this crazy passion? WHY father GOd? WHY!?!?! Into your hands I commit this music passion, have your way in every area of my life especially this whole music thing, I'm so lost right now...musically speaking...Jesus what do you want? Why are all these doors seemingly closing.You promised in your word...that when ONE door shut...ANOTHER would open.........Oh how I pray that you would open THAT door....I pray for the IMPOSSIBLE in Jesus name to happen in my music life...I believe father God that if you were to tell us what would happen in our future that we would be at SUCH A DISBELIEF because our earthly human minds would not be able to comprehend the AMAZING REALITIES you have in store for us....we would think that those things would be too good to be true...Father God, there is a reason why you blessed me with the opportunity to meet and have SO many Christian musician friends over my life time...there is a reason why I met Everfound.....the Odnoralov brothers, I just don't understand why it took me 3 years to realize the actual truth, it breaks my heart in so many ways Jesus that me and my best friend had to go through all that, but in the end you taught us SO many life lessons that we would have not learned otherwise...I know that you are not finished with this whole Russian music thing, it's crazily insane...father God I pray that you would bless EVERY single beautiful FRIEND in my life who got me to where I am today.........Father God....they are the reason I am sitting at this piano bench......in Mensing....on NCU's campus...They know who they are....if it wasn't for them....I wouldn't be the person I am today....From the bottom of my heart THANKYOU....Jesus I pray that you would bless all the faculty and staff and EVERYONE on NCU's campus, Jesus into your hands I commit my spirit...Today Jesus...You began right where I ended...
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