Saturday, November 15, 2014

Lost in His Loving Arms

Today, it finally hit me,
as I was walking through the most painful ice piercing unpleasant wind, under the grayest saddest mid-autumn sky.....
what I should have realized many long years ago,
As I found myself lost in the cursed and blessed identity of "Lithuanian American" or whatever that  doesn't matter anymore.
The simple truth was finally revealed to me
As I look back on my life, I realized that I never necessarily fit in anywhere. There always seemed to  be that part of me that was missing, lost in another world, another time, another indescribable hidden place.
As I continued to look back on my short lived life of 21 years,
realizing all the cultures of people I found myself in,
all the countries visited,
and experiences gone through,
I feel so blessed to have looked into each of their beautiful eyes......
Oh how I will never forget those forever gone precious moments,
held close to my heart into the vastness of eternity........
I cannot believe it took well over 60,000 kilometers of endless wanderings for my heart to realize,
it wasn't found in the church,
it wasn't found on that worship team,
it wasn't found in that supposed christian organization,
it wasn't found in that band,
it wasn't found in that musician,
it wasn't found in that interpretation of art,
it wasn't found in a certain style,
It was DEFINITELY not found in the American identity,
to bloody hell with the supposed Lithuanian identity,
You know where I found this  missing part?
All along, I was meant to be lost in Jesus loving arms,
His most Holy, sweet, warm, welcoming, loving, peaceful, and inspiring embrace.....

Oh foolish child, I say to the breathless wind, why so long to realize  your heart's passion ?

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