Sunday, June 1, 2014

Walking In Your Lietuva Shoes

As I woke up to my unescapable reality,
I realized what the consequences  of my actions had led me to,
I decided to move back to a land that I THOUGHT was my home,
a place where I THOUGHT I belonged,
but honestly some days, or MOST days I feel like a stranger as I look into the eyes of what I was told was my OWN flesh and blood,
In my heart, I really truly decided to give YOU a try...
to feel what you feel,
to see what you see,
I walked in your shoes,
literally, down those barren streets,
I smiled when you smiled,
I cried when you cried,
I hurt when you hurt,
I slept in your bed,
I curled up in your blanket,
I sang under your stars,
I ate the food you ate,
I wore your clothes,
and now I am slowly beginning to understand what it feels like to be you...
I promised myself it was impossible for the human soul to break,
but honestly the other day my soul shattered like glass,
and I definitely lost some of those pieces, that I will probably never find again,
for they have been trampled on,
and crushed by the bottoms of a passerbyer's shoes,
who unconsciously never seemed to care anyways...
this brokeness haunts me,
it never seems to leave,
my heart genuinely cries for you,
the pain is unbearable sometimes,
every day I ask God to break my heart for my dearest people,
my most beautiful dearest country,
so I can somehow get a better picture,
of how it truly feels to be you,
in every possible way,
some days I honestly want to give up,
consider the situation hopeless,
 and move on,
but I know better than to do that,
or at least I hope somewhere in my heart there will be the strength to go on,
During this time of my life I have SO many questions,
with absolutely NO answers,
but admist this chaos,
this maze that I willingly chose to get lost in,
to fully embrace God's heart,
I know that it will somehow be worth it in the end...

Fly Away <3

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