Wednesday, March 28, 2012

So Far Gone in You

I can't believe how fast life has truly flown by. I'm sitting on a black iron chair, outside North Central's  white 5 pillar European looking library with the view of downtown Minneapolis to my left, watching the golden sunset. It's been 7 months since I started going to North Central. It has honestly hands down been the greatest 7 months of my life. I was just reflecting back on how God has truly been so amazing. It's only by His loving grace that I ever lived to see my 19th birthday. And I don't say that to exaggerate, I mean it literally..... So I pray that as God inspires me to write these following words, that you would be blessed and encouraged...~Ruslana Evelyn <3

Looking back on the year of being the cute age of 18, God has worked in my life in so many ways. It wasn't at all easy, that year had it's own challenges, trial, struggles, hopes and joys. My heart firstly goes out to all my dear friends who are figuring out what college they want to go to. I was SO there throughout the ENTIRE HELLISH process. The best advice I can offer is simply to pray and ask God where He wants you to go. I know this might obviously sound like a "DUH" thought, but seriously, God hears the cries of a passionate heart. NEVER go through the college deciding process I went through. I applied to 6 Christian colleges and 3 public colleges. yeah....I mean if you're totally overly adventurous like I naturally am, totally go for it, but save yourself some stress....=) I love how God worked in my college situation despite my crazy stubbornness! I had my heart set on going to Colorado Christian University up until the 3rd week of July....It was honestly by God's grace how I ended up at North Central. God truly led me to His Heart for my life.....Don't be afraid to make a last minute college decision....I did and it still turned out more than I could have ever dreamed of! Jesus continues to bless me with His loving signs that I was truly meant to be here. NEVER EVER give up hope in your college situation, Jesus IS WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE WAY!

Today during chapel, a young man by the name of Darin Strout preached a sermon on " pursuing God's passions, visions & dreams in your life. I absolutely LOVE sermons that talk about the passions God has placed on our hearts to bring glory to Him!!! God. Sized. Dreams. Sometimes I seriously think I was "cursed" with too big of a God sized dream. I've questioned Jesus many times at how this vision will come to pass.After chapel, I went up to the front and fell on my knees and just cried out to God inside my heart. I thought I'd type this prayer out, so that if you feel in your own heart lead to pray it out as well...

"Father God, thank You for all that You are and how You blessed me with the day to live to see my 19th birthday. It just amazes me how You were truly faithful every step of the way even when I felt like giving up on life.Jesus you've placed this God Sized Dream on my heart, and I honestly feel like somewhere along the way the passion, the fire, the zest & energy of life was lost. Fear took a hold of this passion and I froze, I doubted, my whole world was shaken before my very eyes and it felt like the very depths of my heart and my soul were crushed and burned to the ground. Jesus in Your Holy & precious name, into Your graciously loving and compassionate hands, I rededicate this passion You have placed on my heart to glorify You. I pray that by Your mighty hand that you would place a set a new fire burning inside my heart, a refreshed energy and life inside this shattered soul of mine. Restore what has been made broken. Restore Your creation to Your original purpose. I pray for all the joys and hopeful moments that I'll encounter along this life journey that You would be with me. I pray that You would put those blessed dear friends in my path that you want me to meet in this beautiful life. I pray for connections and opportunities for Your Passion in my life in YOUR PERFECT TIMING. I ask for patience to grace and light the way of every step I take, especially in those moments when life is completely falling apart and nothing makes sense, and there's no perfect stained glass picture. Jesus remind my soul that YOU are in control and in the end you only have good things in store for me.Heavenly Father, I pray that this would be THE YEAR of my life where I would relentlessly and RADICALLY live for You in such a way I have never imagined to live. Jesus with all of my heart, soul, and mind my heart's greatest desire is to LIVE for you WITH EVERYTHING that I have within me. I want to give you EVERYTHING I have  EVERYDAY of  THIS YEAR and the rest of my life. Jesus I pray that no matter what challenges or trials or hardships I will face in the future for every single year You bless me with to be alive to glorify You, that you would give me the heart to pursue Your Passion RELENTLESSLY UNTIL MY LAST DYING BREATH. In Jesus name, Ahmen."

Re dedication of passion is something I desire to do daily. It brings my life focus back into God's perspective and where He wants me. Currently, this is where God has lead me so far. He confirmed in my heart this past year,that I am called to go reach my generation of Europeans and Russians. As for what ministry method to go about doing this, He has confirmed that it will be through Music Ministry. He's also placed on my heart the vision to possibly plant a few churches in my dearest eastern European homeland country of Lithuania. This may sound like I have it all together, but honestly, I DON'T. This is just a general picture, and God is day by day revealing more of the details. He's placed on my heart to start praying for the specifics such as who will be part of this music ministry band, what country to start in...etc. LOL and you wonder why I say I feel "cursed and blessed" at the same time with this God. Sized Dream! =P One of the greatest ministry blessings I came across this year was STEIGER INTERNATIONAL. It's a European based music ministry that desires to reach the hearts of young people for Christ in Europe, Russia, the United States and throughout the world. Words cannot describe what a miracle it was to discover this music ministry. I'm continuing to pray for God's direction, if all goes as planned...LOL (we'll see) I'm hoping to go to Steiger International's Radical Missions school summer 2013 in Germany. As of now, it would be my dream to branch off of Steiger International with my own music ministry. I can possibly see myself being involved with Steiger for the rest of my life, or a good portion of it. Until then, we shall see where God leads me this year...

As I've come to realize...Jesus is always full of surprises.....<3

1 comment:

  1. Aiste, I am absolutely blessed by you in my life. Your passion and fire to follow the Lord is 100% and totally REAL! You have so much fervor and energy, and I believe that the Lord will continue to fill that up every day in your life. In the moments when you feel like giving up, remember that the Lord is your strength and your shield. You've got this beautiful lady. I believe in you and support you every step of the way. You're an amazing woman of God, and never stop spreading the joy of the Lord bubbling inside of you! Love you. :-)