Saturday, January 4, 2014

A Dedication to the Misunderstood

As 2014 comes to an open,  I'd like to address the following issue that has been on my heart lately.

Lithuanian-American. Russian-American. Estonian-American. Latvian-American. Czech Republic-American.Ukrainian-American.Moldovan-American. Polish-American. Finnish-American. Norwegian-American. Macedonian-American. Serbian-American. Croatian-American. Bosian-American. Montenegron-American. Austrian-American. German-American. Hmong-American. African-American. Chinese-American. Hispanic-American. You get my point.

I got this idea to write this reflection as I was standing at a cold bus stop in Kaunas at 5 in the morning after my travels to Warsaw for New Years. Funny how the most inspirational writing ideas of my life, come to me at the strangest hours and queerest circumstances. I started thinking about how I, and many others who bear the titile of "insert your nationality" SLASH "American" title. I would like to be a VOICE for this genre of people, because I feel like we have been misunderstood by society. I desire to SPEAK UP  and STAND UP for who we are.

That is a great question to ask.
We are the ones who others consider not to be American,
yet they consider us to not exactly be European or Asian or whatever.
We are somewhere in between.
Sometimes "they" ask us to show our passports because "they" don't believe who we are. and when we make the frikin stupid mistake of showing "them" our passport "they" judge us.
Seriously, just because you OWN a frikin Bible does NOT make you a  frikin Christian,
same as the frikin Nationality in your  frikin passport DOES NOT make you who you are..........
We are a new genre of people in today's society that are result of our countries unsettled histories wither it be communism or something else.
We are every post-communist parent's dream.....(in some cases I'd like to think at least)
We are the result of the scars of communism's past intertwined with the American dream.
We live in two worlds instead of one.
We see two sides of the story instead of one.
We are judged like frikin HELL for not knowing "certain languages that we should have known by now".
We have realized that the grass is NOT necessarily greener on the other side as most of the Non-American world has fallen into the trap of thinking. (Yes, controversial thought, I know, but let's be honest, the American Dream in my opinion is a LIE, don't waste your life....if you'd like to chat about this, I would LOVE to share my perspective with you. )
We are unique, beautiful, original and creative individuals with passions, and visions and dreams that scream from the depths of our souls.

I feel like my whole life I have been misunderstood because of this national identity crisis. I have lived a unique perspective of life, that most people will never get the chance to experience. It has been my greatest blessing and my greatest curse at the same time.  I am forever thankful for it, but it haunts my soul of what could have been. And my soul wonders if the what could have been part would have been the greatest unknown nightmare.  I don't believe in coincidences or accidents, only Divine appointments. God places everyone in each part of the world for a reason. Wither you be straight up Polish, African, Asian, 3 nationalities in one or a post communist dreamer as I, the culture God placed you in was not by accident. Let me repeat, The culture that God placed you in my dearest friend WAS NOT BY ACCIDENT. There is only pure purpose behind it. It may not make sense to you or I as to why we had to grow up and live through what we did, but in God's eyes it makes perfect sense. He sees the entire picture of our lives when we merely see a small colorful snapshot of it.

So with this unique perspective of life, what I have chosen to do? For example, today I walked to the grocery store wearing a red black yelllow green floral scarf headband with a red rose, bright red fire and ice lipstick, a teal blue scarf, and wine red leggings, and black lace up leather boots that go up to my knees. Living in a country where wearing color seems to be a social taboo, I decided not to give a SHIT as to what people in society think anymore. Whenever I visit Poland, for some beautiful reason it ALWAYS brings out my inner artistic side...and oh how I have longed to see that colorful side. 
I've learned that I just need to EMBRACE to the FULLEST at who God has created me to be, and if society doesn't like it, to bloody HELL with what they think.  Why be the same  when you can be your original self? Why conform when you have a once in a life time chance to stand out? So this is my declaration and final stand to those who feel misunderstood, especially us "insert nationality" "American"........ It's time for us to come out of our shells, and show the world who we truly are, let the beautiful sunshine and echoing laughter SCREAM like a long lost heart melody in their faces........

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