I can't believe how fast life has truly flown by. I'm sitting on a black iron chair, outside North Central's white 5 pillar European looking library with the view of downtown Minneapolis to my left, watching the golden sunset. It's been 7 months since I started going to North Central. It has honestly hands down been the greatest 7 months of my life. I was just reflecting back on how God has truly been so amazing. It's only by His loving grace that I ever lived to see my 19th birthday. And I don't say that to exaggerate, I mean it literally..... So I pray that as God inspires me to write these following words, that you would be blessed and encouraged...~Ruslana Evelyn <3
Looking back on the year of being the cute age of 18, God has worked in my life in so many ways. It wasn't at all easy, that year had it's own challenges, trial, struggles, hopes and joys. My heart firstly goes out to all my dear friends who are figuring out what college they want to go to. I was SO there throughout the ENTIRE HELLISH process. The best advice I can offer is simply to pray and ask God where He wants you to go. I know this might obviously sound like a "DUH" thought, but seriously, God hears the cries of a passionate heart. NEVER go through the college deciding process I went through. I applied to 6 Christian colleges and 3 public colleges. yeah....I mean if you're totally overly adventurous like I naturally am, totally go for it, but save yourself some stress....=) I love how God worked in my college situation despite my crazy stubbornness! I had my heart set on going to Colorado Christian University up until the 3rd week of July....It was honestly by God's grace how I ended up at North Central. God truly led me to His Heart for my life.....Don't be afraid to make a last minute college decision....I did and it still turned out more than I could have ever dreamed of! Jesus continues to bless me with His loving signs that I was truly meant to be here. NEVER EVER give up hope in your college situation, Jesus IS WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE WAY!
Today during chapel, a young man by the name of Darin Strout preached a sermon on " pursuing God's passions, visions & dreams in your life. I absolutely LOVE sermons that talk about the passions God has placed on our hearts to bring glory to Him!!! God. Sized. Dreams. Sometimes I seriously think I was "cursed" with too big of a God sized dream. I've questioned Jesus many times at how this vision will come to pass.After chapel, I went up to the front and fell on my knees and just cried out to God inside my heart. I thought I'd type this prayer out, so that if you feel in your own heart lead to pray it out as well...
"Father God, thank You for all that You are and how You blessed me with the day to live to see my 19th birthday. It just amazes me how You were truly faithful every step of the way even when I felt like giving up on life.Jesus you've placed this God Sized Dream on my heart, and I honestly feel like somewhere along the way the passion, the fire, the zest & energy of life was lost. Fear took a hold of this passion and I froze, I doubted, my whole world was shaken before my very eyes and it felt like the very depths of my heart and my soul were crushed and burned to the ground. Jesus in Your Holy & precious name, into Your graciously loving and compassionate hands, I rededicate this passion You have placed on my heart to glorify You. I pray that by Your mighty hand that you would place a set a new fire burning inside my heart, a refreshed energy and life inside this shattered soul of mine. Restore what has been made broken. Restore Your creation to Your original purpose. I pray for all the joys and hopeful moments that I'll encounter along this life journey that You would be with me. I pray that You would put those blessed dear friends in my path that you want me to meet in this beautiful life. I pray for connections and opportunities for Your Passion in my life in YOUR PERFECT TIMING. I ask for patience to grace and light the way of every step I take, especially in those moments when life is completely falling apart and nothing makes sense, and there's no perfect stained glass picture. Jesus remind my soul that YOU are in control and in the end you only have good things in store for me.Heavenly Father, I pray that this would be THE YEAR of my life where I would relentlessly and RADICALLY live for You in such a way I have never imagined to live. Jesus with all of my heart, soul, and mind my heart's greatest desire is to LIVE for you WITH EVERYTHING that I have within me. I want to give you EVERYTHING I have EVERYDAY of THIS YEAR and the rest of my life. Jesus I pray that no matter what challenges or trials or hardships I will face in the future for every single year You bless me with to be alive to glorify You, that you would give me the heart to pursue Your Passion RELENTLESSLY UNTIL MY LAST DYING BREATH. In Jesus name, Ahmen."
Re dedication of passion is something I desire to do daily. It brings my life focus back into God's perspective and where He wants me. Currently, this is where God has lead me so far. He confirmed in my heart this past year,that I am called to go reach my generation of Europeans and Russians. As for what ministry method to go about doing this, He has confirmed that it will be through Music Ministry. He's also placed on my heart the vision to possibly plant a few churches in my dearest eastern European homeland country of Lithuania. This may sound like I have it all together, but honestly, I DON'T. This is just a general picture, and God is day by day revealing more of the details. He's placed on my heart to start praying for the specifics such as who will be part of this music ministry band, what country to start in...etc. LOL and you wonder why I say I feel "cursed and blessed" at the same time with this God. Sized Dream! =P One of the greatest ministry blessings I came across this year was STEIGER INTERNATIONAL. It's a European based music ministry that desires to reach the hearts of young people for Christ in Europe, Russia, the United States and throughout the world. Words cannot describe what a miracle it was to discover this music ministry. I'm continuing to pray for God's direction, if all goes as planned...LOL (we'll see) I'm hoping to go to Steiger International's Radical Missions school summer 2013 in Germany. As of now, it would be my dream to branch off of Steiger International with my own music ministry. I can possibly see myself being involved with Steiger for the rest of my life, or a good portion of it. Until then, we shall see where God leads me this year...
As I've come to realize...Jesus is always full of surprises.....<3
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Where We Were Meant To Be All Along
WOW, I can't believe in a month and a half, I'll already be done with my freshman year of college at North Central University...Words cannot describe how beautiful this year of life has been....
A few days ago, I FINALLY switched my major worship leading...You may be thinking,....really? People switch their majors all the time, it's no big deal...behind those words lies a story, a life, ,a vision, a dream, a passion. To put it simply, at this point in my life, this is where my heart is at. I can't bear the thought of lying there in my bed before I fall asleep just thinking of that Russian girl my age walking the streets of Moscow, her heart suffering, she's in a broken relationship, wanting someone to love her back. Or the Lithuanian guy searching for meaning and purpose in his life, every day just waking up and not having a passion to live life anymore. Those thoughts keep my passion in check.
When it comes to missions, the first continent that pops into society's mind is Africa or perhaps Asia or the middle east. There's no sugar coating this, but Europe and Russia are DYING. Their spirituality and passion to live for Christ are long gone. How can I just stay in the overflowlingly blessed Christian country of America and pursue a "normal" life? I've realized the so called "American Dream" IS SO NOT ME...I honestly don't care about having the nicest house, car or financially savvy job....ESPECIALLY with the passion of worship leading that God has placed on my heart, FINANCES? LOL, WHAT FINANCES? This was probably one of the most controversial aspects growing up. I remember talking to people and they were like "How are you going to make a living with worship leading, are you in right mind?!?!?!" I can't even begin to tell you how much my worship arts passion was burned through the fire by society. Honestly the answer to this finance question is....I simply don't know....It's all in God's hands...This response I know makes quite a few people feel uncomfortable. We're so used to being secure, comfortable, we forget how BIG a God we serve. We underestimate His power. I remember in highschool my teachers and classmates and friends asked me what I was going to do when I went to college.....Back then I said I was going to major in teaching english as a foreign language and minor in worship leading.MINOR IN WORSHIP LEADING? LOL....oh the white lies we tell people just to blend in with the rest of society... I was ashamed to admit that my true "lowly financial passion" in life was worship leading....WHY was I so ashamed to tell my fellow teachers, classmates, and friends from highschool where my heart really was? I honestly think it was because "Worship Leading" from where I was from, was absolutely UNHEARD of. I remember all my classmates saying how they were going to major in some prestigious degree, wither it be Chemistry, math, biology, nursing, doctor, or lawyer....I felt like the town I was from looked down upon worship leading. I felt like they considered it to be a "degree of low and non prestigious status.." and you know what I think to this day? I. Don't. Freakin. Care. Society needs to once again WAKE UP and realize that this world is SPIRITUALLY DYING, and we can't just sit on our cute American butts, living our cute American lives, driving our cute American cars, eating our fat cute American food, and live in our cute American house thinking that "someone else, that's not me" is going to reach the rest of this LOST WORLD for Jesus.
I have a confession to make, to all my classmates in highschool, the whole academic thing was SO not me. If you knew the academic HELL I went through you would have not lived to see graduation day. I was under enormous pressure, and growing up in a small freakin town where everyone expected you to be this great smart a** academic someone, it was a joke. If I could do it all over again, I would have not been so overly focused on stupid academics. Don't me wrong, doing well, getting all A's in school is WONDERFUL, if you're that type of person. If YOU yourself would have been under the stupid academic situation I'm sure you would have thought differently as well. Also, just to let you know I HATE SCIENCE. I HATE MATH. Sorry, but that's so not me.SURPRISE. =P God hasn't called me to be a scholar in those areas (Thank God, I would have seriously died) and I'm completely fine with that.
Do you want to know where my heart is truly at? God gave me the passion of Christian music on my heart when I accepted Him for the very first time into my heart when I was 8 years old. Going to Sonshine Festival and Lifelight Festival (Christian music festivals) for the past 7 years ever since I was 12 is what really ignited my passion for worship leading. How could I ever forget and disown those nights standing in the middle of a Skillet mosh pit with tears streaming down my face as John Cooper sang the song "Last Night" or "Yours To Hold"? How could I just quietly move on after standing outside on a warm sunset evening crying out to God singing "By Your Side", and "Hold My Heart" as Tenth Avenue North, Mike Donehey sang words of truth into my life....How could I just toss this thought off my shoulders after hearing Dawn's testimony ( Lead singer of Fireflight) share her heart and me realizing for the first time in my life my freshman summer that God, doesn't expect me to be perfect and having the chains of perfectionism fall off from my life? How can I just merely smile at those too many to count Christian concert experiences and just move on? I honestly wish you could have been there with me to experience every Christian music concert I went to, so you'd realize why my passion for worship leading and music ministry IS SO STRONG. Those experiences changed my life.....my heart...and the VERY essence and breath of who I am......
My heart's desire is to reach my lost generation of European's and Russians for Jesus through music ministry.......
I'm so glad I FINALLY WOKE UP to the passion God placed in my heart. It took me almost 19 years....Yes, it will be financially risky, adventurously unpredictable, and it's DEFINITELY not prestigious in society's eyes....but in Christ's eyes knowing the peace inside my heart realizing I'm where He wants me to be....that in itself is worth waking up to every day for the rest of my life....<3
A few days ago, I FINALLY switched my major worship leading...You may be thinking,....really? People switch their majors all the time, it's no big deal...behind those words lies a story, a life, ,a vision, a dream, a passion. To put it simply, at this point in my life, this is where my heart is at. I can't bear the thought of lying there in my bed before I fall asleep just thinking of that Russian girl my age walking the streets of Moscow, her heart suffering, she's in a broken relationship, wanting someone to love her back. Or the Lithuanian guy searching for meaning and purpose in his life, every day just waking up and not having a passion to live life anymore. Those thoughts keep my passion in check.
When it comes to missions, the first continent that pops into society's mind is Africa or perhaps Asia or the middle east. There's no sugar coating this, but Europe and Russia are DYING. Their spirituality and passion to live for Christ are long gone. How can I just stay in the overflowlingly blessed Christian country of America and pursue a "normal" life? I've realized the so called "American Dream" IS SO NOT ME...I honestly don't care about having the nicest house, car or financially savvy job....ESPECIALLY with the passion of worship leading that God has placed on my heart, FINANCES? LOL, WHAT FINANCES? This was probably one of the most controversial aspects growing up. I remember talking to people and they were like "How are you going to make a living with worship leading, are you in right mind?!?!?!" I can't even begin to tell you how much my worship arts passion was burned through the fire by society. Honestly the answer to this finance question is....I simply don't know....It's all in God's hands...This response I know makes quite a few people feel uncomfortable. We're so used to being secure, comfortable, we forget how BIG a God we serve. We underestimate His power. I remember in highschool my teachers and classmates and friends asked me what I was going to do when I went to college.....Back then I said I was going to major in teaching english as a foreign language and minor in worship leading.MINOR IN WORSHIP LEADING? LOL....oh the white lies we tell people just to blend in with the rest of society... I was ashamed to admit that my true "lowly financial passion" in life was worship leading....WHY was I so ashamed to tell my fellow teachers, classmates, and friends from highschool where my heart really was? I honestly think it was because "Worship Leading" from where I was from, was absolutely UNHEARD of. I remember all my classmates saying how they were going to major in some prestigious degree, wither it be Chemistry, math, biology, nursing, doctor, or lawyer....I felt like the town I was from looked down upon worship leading. I felt like they considered it to be a "degree of low and non prestigious status.." and you know what I think to this day? I. Don't. Freakin. Care. Society needs to once again WAKE UP and realize that this world is SPIRITUALLY DYING, and we can't just sit on our cute American butts, living our cute American lives, driving our cute American cars, eating our fat cute American food, and live in our cute American house thinking that "someone else, that's not me" is going to reach the rest of this LOST WORLD for Jesus.
I have a confession to make, to all my classmates in highschool, the whole academic thing was SO not me. If you knew the academic HELL I went through you would have not lived to see graduation day. I was under enormous pressure, and growing up in a small freakin town where everyone expected you to be this great smart a** academic someone, it was a joke. If I could do it all over again, I would have not been so overly focused on stupid academics. Don't me wrong, doing well, getting all A's in school is WONDERFUL, if you're that type of person. If YOU yourself would have been under the stupid academic situation I'm sure you would have thought differently as well. Also, just to let you know I HATE SCIENCE. I HATE MATH. Sorry, but that's so not me.SURPRISE. =P God hasn't called me to be a scholar in those areas (Thank God, I would have seriously died) and I'm completely fine with that.
Do you want to know where my heart is truly at? God gave me the passion of Christian music on my heart when I accepted Him for the very first time into my heart when I was 8 years old. Going to Sonshine Festival and Lifelight Festival (Christian music festivals) for the past 7 years ever since I was 12 is what really ignited my passion for worship leading. How could I ever forget and disown those nights standing in the middle of a Skillet mosh pit with tears streaming down my face as John Cooper sang the song "Last Night" or "Yours To Hold"? How could I just quietly move on after standing outside on a warm sunset evening crying out to God singing "By Your Side", and "Hold My Heart" as Tenth Avenue North, Mike Donehey sang words of truth into my life....How could I just toss this thought off my shoulders after hearing Dawn's testimony ( Lead singer of Fireflight) share her heart and me realizing for the first time in my life my freshman summer that God, doesn't expect me to be perfect and having the chains of perfectionism fall off from my life? How can I just merely smile at those too many to count Christian concert experiences and just move on? I honestly wish you could have been there with me to experience every Christian music concert I went to, so you'd realize why my passion for worship leading and music ministry IS SO STRONG. Those experiences changed my life.....my heart...and the VERY essence and breath of who I am......
My heart's desire is to reach my lost generation of European's and Russians for Jesus through music ministry.......
I'm so glad I FINALLY WOKE UP to the passion God placed in my heart. It took me almost 19 years....Yes, it will be financially risky, adventurously unpredictable, and it's DEFINITELY not prestigious in society's eyes....but in Christ's eyes knowing the peace inside my heart realizing I'm where He wants me to be....that in itself is worth waking up to every day for the rest of my life....<3
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Passion
I dedicate the following poem to all my passionate dear friends who have a vision to change the world....~Ruslana Evelyn~
Sitting on the living room floor on a cold sunny winter day,
The sweet 8 year old girl was playing with her dolls,
Her dad quietly places a CD in her lap,
She runs upstairs to delightedly anxious to listen to it,
The lyrics transform her into another time, another place,
another world 15 years later that she doesn't even know about,
God places The Passion deep inside her soul,
She sings,
Her passion is put to the test through many, many, many fires,
It is thrown off Mount Everest and rapidly crashes into rock, after rock after rock,
Her passion finally reaches the bottom,
It lies there silently, so cold, so barren,
Her passion doesn't seem to have the strength to get up,
It is then trampled on by the Nazi army,
every soldier's footstep, thousands upon thousands of them, stomping and crushing her passion by the heels of their feet as they walk by,
It is then kicked into Auschwitz hell...
Her passion is an ash, floating in the air,
It quietly lands on Stalin's desk,
Her passion sees the faces of suffering, hopelessness,and darkness too deep to speak of,
bloodied, bruised hands reach out to her passion,
from a far off distance she sees a thread of light,
she walks barefoot on the gray calloused chalky ground,
It starts to rain and thunder creeps in,
She runs toward this last gleam of hope,
As if it were for the for time, she looks into His eyes,
she is at a loss for words,
tears streaming down her face,
She says, "God, here's my passion that You gave me..................
it went through so much..................................................
but somehow You gave me the strength to hold onto it.....................until my last dying breath......"
Song: War of Change ~Thousand Foot Krutch
Sitting on the living room floor on a cold sunny winter day,
The sweet 8 year old girl was playing with her dolls,
Her dad quietly places a CD in her lap,
She runs upstairs to delightedly anxious to listen to it,
The lyrics transform her into another time, another place,
another world 15 years later that she doesn't even know about,
God places The Passion deep inside her soul,
She sings,
Her passion is put to the test through many, many, many fires,
It is thrown off Mount Everest and rapidly crashes into rock, after rock after rock,
Her passion finally reaches the bottom,
It lies there silently, so cold, so barren,
Her passion doesn't seem to have the strength to get up,
It is then trampled on by the Nazi army,
every soldier's footstep, thousands upon thousands of them, stomping and crushing her passion by the heels of their feet as they walk by,
It is then kicked into Auschwitz hell...
Her passion is an ash, floating in the air,
It quietly lands on Stalin's desk,
Her passion sees the faces of suffering, hopelessness,and darkness too deep to speak of,
bloodied, bruised hands reach out to her passion,
from a far off distance she sees a thread of light,
she walks barefoot on the gray calloused chalky ground,
It starts to rain and thunder creeps in,
She runs toward this last gleam of hope,
As if it were for the for time, she looks into His eyes,
she is at a loss for words,
tears streaming down her face,
She says, "God, here's my passion that You gave me..................
it went through so much..................................................
but somehow You gave me the strength to hold onto it.....................until my last dying breath......"
Song: War of Change ~Thousand Foot Krutch
Thursday, February 2, 2012
The Day I Lost You
I'll never forget the day I lost you
it was unexpectedly out of the blue,
It's so true,
the saying, "You never know what you got till it's gone."
Now you're gone,
and my heart breaks in every possible shatterable place,
You'll never know how much I will miss you,
Life will never be the same again,
those days we planned on having this amazing musical ministry band,
I can't believe it's truly over,
to the times we thought we'd travel to Romania,
They will never exist to be,
I try to smile and be happy,
but the passion is lost,
I trust that God knows what's best,
even though it's the hardest thing I will ever have to do at this moment,
It was though I thought I could see clearly,
but I was completely blind,
I feel like I completely failed you in every possible way,
If I could rewind life,
I would and try again,
but the sad cold reality is,
I can't,
I was too late,
I was too late,
In the end, I guess we'll look back and see how God carried each of us through,
I just find it hard to see now,
tears flood my face as I try to understand,
but sometimes in life we are not meant to understand, simply trust in what we can't see,
I pray for every rich abundant blessing to grace your precious life.
I will always remember you and those priceless memories we shared.
You will forever be missed.
Love,
~Ruslana Evelyn
Last Train Home FM Static
it was unexpectedly out of the blue,
It's so true,
the saying, "You never know what you got till it's gone."
Now you're gone,
and my heart breaks in every possible shatterable place,
You'll never know how much I will miss you,
Life will never be the same again,
those days we planned on having this amazing musical ministry band,
I can't believe it's truly over,
to the times we thought we'd travel to Romania,
They will never exist to be,
I try to smile and be happy,
but the passion is lost,
I trust that God knows what's best,
even though it's the hardest thing I will ever have to do at this moment,
It was though I thought I could see clearly,
but I was completely blind,
I feel like I completely failed you in every possible way,
If I could rewind life,
I would and try again,
but the sad cold reality is,
I can't,
I was too late,
I was too late,
In the end, I guess we'll look back and see how God carried each of us through,
I just find it hard to see now,
tears flood my face as I try to understand,
but sometimes in life we are not meant to understand, simply trust in what we can't see,
I pray for every rich abundant blessing to grace your precious life.
I will always remember you and those priceless memories we shared.
You will forever be missed.
Love,
~Ruslana Evelyn
Last Train Home FM Static
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Box
The following excerpt was inspired by this one beautiful person I once met who dared to be her complete self and change the world through the radical vision God gave her...
I can't do this! I can't do this!! she screams out in terror
He tells her, "my dear child, I believe in you,"
you CAN do this,
She says "I'd rather be put in a box,
put my life in a mere box, and be locked away forever",
He tells her, "your life is worth so much more than you think, don't choose the box"
She says, "I'm tired of this SO tired of being different,
the task you have have laid before my very eyes is too overwhelming,
I can't do this! You have the wrong person! Why me!? Why me?! she cries out in agony...
I'd rather be a camellion that drowns in the endless color of this world,
This torment of people silently judging me for being me!
I can't go on like this"...tears slowly cascade from her sweet face,
He tells her, "my child why do you care what other people think? It doesn't matter, and never will matter, You are absolutely beautiful and I love you for who you truly are"...
She falls silent..."why then does every day, every day of my life seem like such a battle, such an endless fight as if someone tied a stone around my neck and my head tries to stay above the vast ocean water, but fails to do so?
Why do You "curse" me with such a passion that has so many unanswered questions, so much unpredictability, so many unknowns?!"
He tells her, "trust me dear child, I know what I am doing, in My timing I will make all those things right that you ever so doubt"...
She writes with a piece of blue chalk,
"You lift me up when I am weak,
Your arms wrap around me,.....
So I'm letting go" (The Afters)
She leans against the wall chalkboard as tears stream down the blackness,
her hands slide down the words she writes,
leaving an abstractness of smeared hand prints,
She looks up towards the starry night sky,
as tears like waterfalls flood her beautiful face, soul and heart,
She says,
"Father God....I never thought I'd be able to say this but,
"I'm letting go".....
Lift Me Up by The Afters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBy2D8p5Kpw
I can't do this! I can't do this!! she screams out in terror
He tells her, "my dear child, I believe in you,"
you CAN do this,
She says "I'd rather be put in a box,
put my life in a mere box, and be locked away forever",
He tells her, "your life is worth so much more than you think, don't choose the box"
She says, "I'm tired of this SO tired of being different,
the task you have have laid before my very eyes is too overwhelming,
I can't do this! You have the wrong person! Why me!? Why me?! she cries out in agony...
I'd rather be a camellion that drowns in the endless color of this world,
This torment of people silently judging me for being me!
I can't go on like this"...tears slowly cascade from her sweet face,
He tells her, "my child why do you care what other people think? It doesn't matter, and never will matter, You are absolutely beautiful and I love you for who you truly are"...
She falls silent..."why then does every day, every day of my life seem like such a battle, such an endless fight as if someone tied a stone around my neck and my head tries to stay above the vast ocean water, but fails to do so?
Why do You "curse" me with such a passion that has so many unanswered questions, so much unpredictability, so many unknowns?!"
He tells her, "trust me dear child, I know what I am doing, in My timing I will make all those things right that you ever so doubt"...
She writes with a piece of blue chalk,
"You lift me up when I am weak,
Your arms wrap around me,.....
So I'm letting go" (The Afters)
She leans against the wall chalkboard as tears stream down the blackness,
her hands slide down the words she writes,
leaving an abstractness of smeared hand prints,
She looks up towards the starry night sky,
as tears like waterfalls flood her beautiful face, soul and heart,
She says,
"Father God....I never thought I'd be able to say this but,
"I'm letting go".....
Lift Me Up by The Afters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBy2D8p5Kpw
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Ring By Spring
Well, it's finally the year 2012....How exciting! =D I was contemplating in my head...hmmmmm...what would be an interesting post to start off 2012 with?
As I begin my spring semester of my freshman year at North Central in just a few days, I thought of what some young college women may have on their minds...Ring. By. Spring. LOL Seriously, I sat there for hours on end, nervously biting my nails, wondering why in the world after going to a cute little downtown Christian university for a semester that there wasn't a huge sparkling diamond on my Lithuanian ring finger....JUST KIDDING....I'm thinking more like pulling a Chris Tomlin....get married at age 38 while having the entire worship arts world fooled into thinking that he's a family guy already...LOL I pray by God's holy grace, dear friend, that you realize; there is more to life than rings by springs.
Day by day, I have to wake up to the reality that I'm ACTUALLY a college student. It still doesn't feel like it to be honest. With this new season in front of my eyes, comes a whole new world of life. This is the time my generation starts to date. and oh indeed they do... It seems as if there is pressure to date in some aspects. Left and right I see fellow friends getting engaged at 18, 19, 20 21...etc. IT"S CRAZY how everyone seems to grow up so fast. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with marrying young, it all depends on what your personal views obviously are. That leaves us single people kind of just standing there, reconsidering if we in fact should start dating as well and find our prince charming or princess.
I think there is something truly beautiful about "the art of being independent". Our society seems to become so obsessed with "finding the right one" we forget to embrace those years of life where in fact we are single. I recently came across the book "I Gave Dating A Chance" by Jeramy Clark. I came across this passage, that really intrigued me... "The fourth type of girl finds her identity in Christ and knows that she's worth more than anything a guy could offer. She recognizes that her friendships with both girls and guys are strongest when she loves others as Christ loves her, without expectation. She develops deep relationships because she doesn't need attention from others;she's secure in the love and attention she receives from the Lord. She wants companionship from others, not adoration. She doesn't need dates, though she welcomes them if they come. She knows that whether she dates or not, she is worthy and complete."
WOW. I was left speechless. Dearest sister, I pray that you will take these words to your precious heart. NEVER CHANGE YOURSELF FOR A GUY. It's not worth it. Be your complete self. I cannot stress that enough. BE YOUR COMPLETE SELF. If a guy doesn't like you for who you are, your insane smiley craziness and all...He is not worth your time. Sometimes I feel like I need to gain a little life perspective and go outside one rainy spring morning and just splash around in the mud puddles. Then, after that go up to one of my guy friends, and see if he still views me the same way, beautifully covered in mud splatters...LOL The beauty of us single women, is that God has called us to live our lives to the fullest and most aliveness still whether or not we have a guy by our side. Instead of us, desperately searching for the right young man, as we live in our created element, passionately being who God created us to be, in the right timing God will bless us with that man of our dreams. So I pray that wherever life may find you this 2012 year and upcoming spring; single or dating, that you would remember to passionately embrace all that God has created you to be and have the courage to always BE YOURSELF regardless of what people may think of the truly crazy, beautiful & unique you...
As I begin my spring semester of my freshman year at North Central in just a few days, I thought of what some young college women may have on their minds...Ring. By. Spring. LOL Seriously, I sat there for hours on end, nervously biting my nails, wondering why in the world after going to a cute little downtown Christian university for a semester that there wasn't a huge sparkling diamond on my Lithuanian ring finger....JUST KIDDING....I'm thinking more like pulling a Chris Tomlin....get married at age 38 while having the entire worship arts world fooled into thinking that he's a family guy already...LOL I pray by God's holy grace, dear friend, that you realize; there is more to life than rings by springs.
Day by day, I have to wake up to the reality that I'm ACTUALLY a college student. It still doesn't feel like it to be honest. With this new season in front of my eyes, comes a whole new world of life. This is the time my generation starts to date. and oh indeed they do... It seems as if there is pressure to date in some aspects. Left and right I see fellow friends getting engaged at 18, 19, 20 21...etc. IT"S CRAZY how everyone seems to grow up so fast. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with marrying young, it all depends on what your personal views obviously are. That leaves us single people kind of just standing there, reconsidering if we in fact should start dating as well and find our prince charming or princess.
I think there is something truly beautiful about "the art of being independent". Our society seems to become so obsessed with "finding the right one" we forget to embrace those years of life where in fact we are single. I recently came across the book "I Gave Dating A Chance" by Jeramy Clark. I came across this passage, that really intrigued me... "The fourth type of girl finds her identity in Christ and knows that she's worth more than anything a guy could offer. She recognizes that her friendships with both girls and guys are strongest when she loves others as Christ loves her, without expectation. She develops deep relationships because she doesn't need attention from others;she's secure in the love and attention she receives from the Lord. She wants companionship from others, not adoration. She doesn't need dates, though she welcomes them if they come. She knows that whether she dates or not, she is worthy and complete."
WOW. I was left speechless. Dearest sister, I pray that you will take these words to your precious heart. NEVER CHANGE YOURSELF FOR A GUY. It's not worth it. Be your complete self. I cannot stress that enough. BE YOUR COMPLETE SELF. If a guy doesn't like you for who you are, your insane smiley craziness and all...He is not worth your time. Sometimes I feel like I need to gain a little life perspective and go outside one rainy spring morning and just splash around in the mud puddles. Then, after that go up to one of my guy friends, and see if he still views me the same way, beautifully covered in mud splatters...LOL The beauty of us single women, is that God has called us to live our lives to the fullest and most aliveness still whether or not we have a guy by our side. Instead of us, desperately searching for the right young man, as we live in our created element, passionately being who God created us to be, in the right timing God will bless us with that man of our dreams. So I pray that wherever life may find you this 2012 year and upcoming spring; single or dating, that you would remember to passionately embrace all that God has created you to be and have the courage to always BE YOURSELF regardless of what people may think of the truly crazy, beautiful & unique you...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Laughs & Loves of a College Freshman
I still can't believe half of my freshman year in college is a masquerade of memories of the past. In my last post I focused more on the sadder/struggling side of things of college life. In this post I hope to capture those moments of life where laughter echoes the sunshine filled windows of the human soul... May these crazy stories of this Lithuanian girl who lives in America make your heart smile...Blessings ~Ruslana Evelyn~
To this day, I am left SO speechless at how I ended up at North Central University. I can honestly say if I were talking to you face to face today, IT. WAS. ALL. GOD. Those 4 words are very much overused, but yet it is purely the beautiful truth of reality. To all my dear friends who are in the process of looking for a college or one day will have to face this milestone, if there is one thing I learned, it's that, if you commit your college choice to God, in other words, let HIM decide where he wants YOU to go, He will lead you to the right place. North Central University was literally THE LAST college I had in mind to go to. I applied to 3 public and 6 private Christian colleges. The application process was a daily living nightmare on earth that lasted about 1 year. How I survived? I don't know...I had my heart set on Colorado Christian University from day 1 of this college search all the way up until the first week of this past July. I'll forever hold close to my heart the beautiful memories that were made on my college visit to Colorado, and all the lovely new friends that I made those cold unpredictable days of February.I had this mindset that this is clearly what God wanted and regardless if my family and friends around me didn't agree I was seriously going to WALK to Colorado from Minnesota BY MYSELF if that's what it took to go there. That's how desperate I was.I'm so glad that we serve a God who is greater than our ways and stubbornness.Slowly week by week past, and I narrowed down my college decision to either Colorado Christian University or the U of M in Morris. North Central was not even in the picture...YET....Personally, speaking from experience, I wouldn't recommend going through the ridiculous process of applying to 8 colleges, but I'm the type of person that would rather explore all the mysteries of this life than be ignorant to the unknown. Eventually the reality of life really hit me with a bang that God was not calling me to go to CCU...I seriously wanted to give up on life...and just when I thought that all college hope was lost, God brought to my mind the very last possible Christian college option...North Central University. I officially decided on going to NCU the first week in JULY. and I am forever thankful I did. This is just a mere summary of the war that took place, so if you ever need someone to talk to about this whole college thing, I'll be waiting with open arms =) I just thought I'd share the process of how I got to North Central University, because all the beautiful realities of life that happened are because of God's decision to bring me into this blessed Christian college community...
The first memory that comes to mind is when one of my guy friends and I were walked the streets of downtown Minneapolis one cloudy/windy afternoon. Out of nowhere there was this random guy in his 50s who started talking to us about Jesus. He asked us what our names were and I totally white lied "Ruslana". I mean think about it, the stupidity of telling a stranger in the cities that my name is ICE TEA...aka Aiste, it's such an uncommon name in America...AND to put the icing on the cake, the random guy asks "Are you two married?" and my guy friend says..."Not yet." At this point I'm sure you can just imagine the horror on my UnRussian face, as I look at my guy friend questioning what he means by the two words "Not yet" and what scandalous heart secrets he's hiding from me... I was VERY tempted to say "Um yeah, we just got married last week, I lost my diamond ring a few blocks back, and we've been searching for it all afternoon"...LOL Eventually by the end of this awkward conversation we find out this random guy works for the Salvation Army.... =)
Swing Dancing:
Another memory that comes to mind is swing dancing on Thursday nights at the Social Dance Studio in Minneapolis.Oh the lovely college guys you meet here...=) LOL I'll never forget the guy who taught me how to swing dance, I"M FOREVER THANKFUL for that moment...Also, I don't know if it's because of the Midwestern/"Northern gentlemen" culture, but alot of the guys were afraid to ask the girls to dance. I found this cutely funny. So me being my crazy self I just got over it and asked those guys to dance with me. =) I'll never forget dancing with this one young gentlemen. He told be he was from Uzbekistan. I was like OH MY GOSH YOU SPEAK RUSSIAN?!?!? He's like "Da." Then he said something to me in Russian with a smile on his face and I was like, what did you say? He's like "I asked you if you'd like a shot of vodka...just kidding" It was so funny...bless his dear Russian soul....<3
Being My Crazy Self:
Looking back, I remember that if I ever dared to walk the streets of Minneapolis by myself or with my dear friends, I would always put on my "Russian Musician Disguise". This other identity consisted of black 3D movie glasses with the lens taken out, a knit red winter hat, Wine Is Everything lipstick, and the scandalous Lithuanian look on my face....
British Accents:
My NCU friends and I would have these cute little British tea parties. We would write down British names, put them in a hat and then draw a name, and then we'd go by that name for our tea party. I claimed that I was a Soviet Russian, who's name was Molly that spoke in a British accent.... After one of tea party's a few friends and I decided to FINALLY study for our Systematic Theology exam in the Carlson Commons area of NCU. Throughout our whole study time I spoke in a British accent. It was HILARIOUS. The group of people studying at the next table over looked at me like..."REALLY, R U FREAKIN SERIOUS"...I looked back...Yeah, totally....It was a great studying time to be alive......My British accent improved so much...it used to seriously suck...LOL
Family Force 5 Concert:
On November 19th, Family Force 5, Grits, and Owl City were in concert at the U of M Fieldhouse. It was supposedly the largest college outreach in America in 10 years.... I'll never forget standing next to 2 of my NCU friends as Family Force 5 took the stage.... My favorite song "KOUNTRY GENTLEMEN" started playing and I remember I LIKE FREAKED OUT insanely during the lyrical lines "MY MAMA RAISED ME IN THE DURTY SOUTH"....the U of M students who were standing by us were like "Oh My God....Really?!?!? who are these crazy girls!?!?!" It was so funny...yeah I forgot to mention that I do become very crazy during most Christian rock concerts....just a little...
The India Church:
Our college had this church fair back in September, and I remember really wanting to to this church called Global Harvest International Church. I was like OH MY GOSH INTERNATIONAL!?!?!?!? That means that there will be people from like all over the world there. I contacted the pastor of the church, and he was excited to hear that I was coming. I rode the light rail to Bloomington, MN and when I got to the bus station, I was completely lost. The service had already started....and I called the pastor. I told him I was so lost as which bus to take, so he decided to come pick me up...He eventually comes, and I realize he's of India descent and has the coolest accent ever... then drives me over to his church. I walk into the building and there is 99% INDIA people and one white Lithuanian....It was great. =D So next time you hear the term "INTERNATIONAL" when it comes to a church, it could literally mean ANY single country in the word......
The Russian Church:
So me being the crazy UnRussian I am, came across this Russian church....One of my Russian friend's decided he wanted to go as well, so he drove me there. We were quite late for the service, it started at 2pm we got there by 2:30pm (oh did I mention that the reason we were late is because I first went to the INDIA church, then rode the light rail back to NCU then decided to go to the Russian church, all in the same day!?!?!?) We are both kinda nervous, but eventually I find the courage to open that Russian church door and we find our seats...To our surprise we realize that the ENTIRE church service is truly in 100% Russian....Both of us are just learning Russian language, so we pretty much had no clue what the pastor was saying. As we sit there my Russian friend is like "Look Aiste, all the people are staring at us, they probably think we're dating or something," I was about to die of laughter, it was so painful to hold my smile in... The he's like "Aiste, did you know that Russian people usually marry young?" I was like no....really?? That was a very good realization to realize I guess...LOL Eventually after the service, we introduced ourselves to people, and to my delight, they spoke English! =D
Cat Stew:
Lastly, I leave you with this final story. So all 3 of my roomates are Hmong. I remember the time I went over to one of their houses and we were standing in the kitchen. She opens the fridge and pulls out this interesting looking soup. I'm like, what is that? She's like "Well, you see Aiste in the Hmong culture we have this tradition." Yesterday our neighbor's old cat died, so we decided we'd make a stew of it" I was like "Really!?!? Cat stew!?!?!?" She was like "Yeah"...I was horrified....LOL I can't believe how gullible I was....seriously....she eventually tells me that it's actually squirrel stew.....=P
May you always be able to find those Laughs & Loves moments of life....<3
To this day, I am left SO speechless at how I ended up at North Central University. I can honestly say if I were talking to you face to face today, IT. WAS. ALL. GOD. Those 4 words are very much overused, but yet it is purely the beautiful truth of reality. To all my dear friends who are in the process of looking for a college or one day will have to face this milestone, if there is one thing I learned, it's that, if you commit your college choice to God, in other words, let HIM decide where he wants YOU to go, He will lead you to the right place. North Central University was literally THE LAST college I had in mind to go to. I applied to 3 public and 6 private Christian colleges. The application process was a daily living nightmare on earth that lasted about 1 year. How I survived? I don't know...I had my heart set on Colorado Christian University from day 1 of this college search all the way up until the first week of this past July. I'll forever hold close to my heart the beautiful memories that were made on my college visit to Colorado, and all the lovely new friends that I made those cold unpredictable days of February.I had this mindset that this is clearly what God wanted and regardless if my family and friends around me didn't agree I was seriously going to WALK to Colorado from Minnesota BY MYSELF if that's what it took to go there. That's how desperate I was.I'm so glad that we serve a God who is greater than our ways and stubbornness.Slowly week by week past, and I narrowed down my college decision to either Colorado Christian University or the U of M in Morris. North Central was not even in the picture...YET....Personally, speaking from experience, I wouldn't recommend going through the ridiculous process of applying to 8 colleges, but I'm the type of person that would rather explore all the mysteries of this life than be ignorant to the unknown. Eventually the reality of life really hit me with a bang that God was not calling me to go to CCU...I seriously wanted to give up on life...and just when I thought that all college hope was lost, God brought to my mind the very last possible Christian college option...North Central University. I officially decided on going to NCU the first week in JULY. and I am forever thankful I did. This is just a mere summary of the war that took place, so if you ever need someone to talk to about this whole college thing, I'll be waiting with open arms =) I just thought I'd share the process of how I got to North Central University, because all the beautiful realities of life that happened are because of God's decision to bring me into this blessed Christian college community...
The first memory that comes to mind is when one of my guy friends and I were walked the streets of downtown Minneapolis one cloudy/windy afternoon. Out of nowhere there was this random guy in his 50s who started talking to us about Jesus. He asked us what our names were and I totally white lied "Ruslana". I mean think about it, the stupidity of telling a stranger in the cities that my name is ICE TEA...aka Aiste, it's such an uncommon name in America...AND to put the icing on the cake, the random guy asks "Are you two married?" and my guy friend says..."Not yet." At this point I'm sure you can just imagine the horror on my UnRussian face, as I look at my guy friend questioning what he means by the two words "Not yet" and what scandalous heart secrets he's hiding from me... I was VERY tempted to say "Um yeah, we just got married last week, I lost my diamond ring a few blocks back, and we've been searching for it all afternoon"...LOL Eventually by the end of this awkward conversation we find out this random guy works for the Salvation Army.... =)
Swing Dancing:
Another memory that comes to mind is swing dancing on Thursday nights at the Social Dance Studio in Minneapolis.Oh the lovely college guys you meet here...=) LOL I'll never forget the guy who taught me how to swing dance, I"M FOREVER THANKFUL for that moment...Also, I don't know if it's because of the Midwestern/"Northern gentlemen" culture, but alot of the guys were afraid to ask the girls to dance. I found this cutely funny. So me being my crazy self I just got over it and asked those guys to dance with me. =) I'll never forget dancing with this one young gentlemen. He told be he was from Uzbekistan. I was like OH MY GOSH YOU SPEAK RUSSIAN?!?!? He's like "Da." Then he said something to me in Russian with a smile on his face and I was like, what did you say? He's like "I asked you if you'd like a shot of vodka...just kidding" It was so funny...bless his dear Russian soul....<3
Being My Crazy Self:
Looking back, I remember that if I ever dared to walk the streets of Minneapolis by myself or with my dear friends, I would always put on my "Russian Musician Disguise". This other identity consisted of black 3D movie glasses with the lens taken out, a knit red winter hat, Wine Is Everything lipstick, and the scandalous Lithuanian look on my face....
British Accents:
My NCU friends and I would have these cute little British tea parties. We would write down British names, put them in a hat and then draw a name, and then we'd go by that name for our tea party. I claimed that I was a Soviet Russian, who's name was Molly that spoke in a British accent.... After one of tea party's a few friends and I decided to FINALLY study for our Systematic Theology exam in the Carlson Commons area of NCU. Throughout our whole study time I spoke in a British accent. It was HILARIOUS. The group of people studying at the next table over looked at me like..."REALLY, R U FREAKIN SERIOUS"...I looked back...Yeah, totally....It was a great studying time to be alive......My British accent improved so much...it used to seriously suck...LOL
Family Force 5 Concert:
On November 19th, Family Force 5, Grits, and Owl City were in concert at the U of M Fieldhouse. It was supposedly the largest college outreach in America in 10 years.... I'll never forget standing next to 2 of my NCU friends as Family Force 5 took the stage.... My favorite song "KOUNTRY GENTLEMEN" started playing and I remember I LIKE FREAKED OUT insanely during the lyrical lines "MY MAMA RAISED ME IN THE DURTY SOUTH"....the U of M students who were standing by us were like "Oh My God....Really?!?!? who are these crazy girls!?!?!" It was so funny...yeah I forgot to mention that I do become very crazy during most Christian rock concerts....just a little...
The India Church:
Our college had this church fair back in September, and I remember really wanting to to this church called Global Harvest International Church. I was like OH MY GOSH INTERNATIONAL!?!?!?!? That means that there will be people from like all over the world there. I contacted the pastor of the church, and he was excited to hear that I was coming. I rode the light rail to Bloomington, MN and when I got to the bus station, I was completely lost. The service had already started....and I called the pastor. I told him I was so lost as which bus to take, so he decided to come pick me up...He eventually comes, and I realize he's of India descent and has the coolest accent ever... then drives me over to his church. I walk into the building and there is 99% INDIA people and one white Lithuanian....It was great. =D So next time you hear the term "INTERNATIONAL" when it comes to a church, it could literally mean ANY single country in the word......
The Russian Church:
So me being the crazy UnRussian I am, came across this Russian church....One of my Russian friend's decided he wanted to go as well, so he drove me there. We were quite late for the service, it started at 2pm we got there by 2:30pm (oh did I mention that the reason we were late is because I first went to the INDIA church, then rode the light rail back to NCU then decided to go to the Russian church, all in the same day!?!?!?) We are both kinda nervous, but eventually I find the courage to open that Russian church door and we find our seats...To our surprise we realize that the ENTIRE church service is truly in 100% Russian....Both of us are just learning Russian language, so we pretty much had no clue what the pastor was saying. As we sit there my Russian friend is like "Look Aiste, all the people are staring at us, they probably think we're dating or something," I was about to die of laughter, it was so painful to hold my smile in... The he's like "Aiste, did you know that Russian people usually marry young?" I was like no....really?? That was a very good realization to realize I guess...LOL Eventually after the service, we introduced ourselves to people, and to my delight, they spoke English! =D
Cat Stew:
Lastly, I leave you with this final story. So all 3 of my roomates are Hmong. I remember the time I went over to one of their houses and we were standing in the kitchen. She opens the fridge and pulls out this interesting looking soup. I'm like, what is that? She's like "Well, you see Aiste in the Hmong culture we have this tradition." Yesterday our neighbor's old cat died, so we decided we'd make a stew of it" I was like "Really!?!? Cat stew!?!?!?" She was like "Yeah"...I was horrified....LOL I can't believe how gullible I was....seriously....she eventually tells me that it's actually squirrel stew.....=P
May you always be able to find those Laughs & Loves moments of life....<3
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