The Siberian Survivor

Well, here it is, the blog post I promised that I would write on about my Great Uncle Jurgis Čereška. I got my inspiration to write about him after watching the movie called "The Way Back" yesterday late evening. This movie is about russian/european men who were put in prison camps in Siberia for failing to be "politically correct" with the Russian communism society. Some were spies, actors, others were artists...and in this movie a few brave men decide to escape and WALK across the Himalayan mountains, through Tibet, India, China...it's a story about survival. My Great Uncle Jurgis was a prisoner of war in Siberia,  Russia for 9 long years. I'll never forget when I visited my beautiful country of Lithuania 3 summers ago. I was visiting my relatives for 6 weeks that summer and I was staying at my Močutė's (grandma's) house. She lives in a very small village of about 200 people which is 15 minutes away from one of Lithuania's bigger cities Marijampolė. My močutė's house is made out of white brick. You enter through this green gate that leads up to  the cute little red door after you climb about 10 old concrete steps. In her back yard there is an old white brick rusty tin roofed barn. I'll never forget the times I would go into the second floor of the barn, I'd climb an old fragile wooden ladder and I would start singing my favorite Christian rock songs as the cute baby kittens would stare at me this foreign girl singing her heart out. My mocute had an old dog right by the barn that was in his kennel and she was the type of grandma who COOKED delicious food...even for her PETS...So when you enter my grandma's house through the cute lil red door on the right there is a small room where I was waiting for my great uncle Jurgis to arrive. I'll never forget that moment, when a young good looking European man knocked on my mocute's door and I was the first person he saw so he walked over to me. (Lithuania was the birthplace of where I, Aiste became my crazy outgoing self that all of you know today...so you can just imagine how speechless I was...) His name was Andrews and he was holding a HUGE Saukotis (its a 2ft tall Lithuanian cake made out of stiffened egg whites so the cake looks like it has 100 metal spikes sticking out of it) and my mouth just hung open...here was this hott European guy speaking to me in Lithuanian ( and remember this was 3 years ago so to make things even better I barely knew ANY Lithuanian at the time) and I just stood there explaining to him in English that I don't speak Lithuanian...LOL sigh....AHMEN. eventually I led him to my grandma who took care of everything....thank God! I found out not too long later that Andrews was the guy who drove my great uncle Jurgis around whenever he needed a ride. So we all walked through the kitchen then went to sit around the table in the dining room. My mocute's dining room has pink walls, there is a small tan couch when you enter to the left. Then on the other side there is white framed windows with beautiful white silk curtians. Also over there is the table that Jurgis, my mocute, Andrews, my mom and I sat around. The floor is wooden. I remember seeing  Jurgis for the very first time. He was wearing a dark grey black suit...black leather shoes...and his face...oh his face...you could tell he was a survivor...a warrior...a fighter...it was very aged...hard wrinkle upon wrinkle on his forhead....his whole face a bundle of wrinkles....his skin color a very pale paper white peach after frostbite...a few gray whisps of hair hung loosly on his almost bald head...He was about 1 foot shorter than me and he was ever so slightly hunched over, but still held his persona as a man of honor. His most striking feature...was his deep grey blue eyes...they were the color of Lake Baikal....As he started to share his story....I just stared at this man...I can't believe it took me 3 years to fully appreciate this opportunity I had to listen to my great uncle speak...it brings tears to my eyes...He is the oldest of 9 sibling. My grandma was the youngest. They are the only two sibling still alive in the Cereska family. So he is in his mid 90s...One thing that made me laugh was how he downed shot...after shot....after shot....afer shot......after shot....after shot....after shot......after shot....after shot of 49% proof VODKA., like it was no big deal...LOL talk about a STRONG alcoholic drink! Since I didn't understand much Lithuanian at the time, my mom was my translator. He would talk in his native tongue and my mom would translate what he was saying about every 10-15 minutes or so. My mom said she was AMAZED at what my great uncle had been through...she said that she wished she would have brought a recorder so she could record every word he was saying. She told him that he should right a book of all his Siberian stories! So what got Jurgis through living in a Siberian prison camp for 9 long years? His answer was very simple...His. Faith....WOW. That's it. This was one of those smack in face perspectives of my life...I mean how many times in my life have I complained of my life being unfair and hard, and this man lived in FREAKIN SIBERIA, freezing every night in the cold endless winter nights, barley being fed, surrounded by  endless miles of scary rough vast siberian wilderness, with nowhere to escape to....I wonder what I would have done if I would have been in his place...I really do...I don't think I would have survived, I would have probably given up...How I describe his living conditions does not do justice to the reality of what things were REALLY like. There is NO sugar coating this...It was a living HELL...instead of being deathly HOT....he was surrounded by murderous COLD....The fact that he still believed in God after this, never ceases to amazes me. LIKE WOW. Why he chose to persevere and not give up on life...is that not proof there is truly a GOD out there who loves us more than we will EVER know? I always wonder where I got my gift of perserverance from...like I'm the type of person who will OVERLY persevere to the VERY VERY VERY end of most situations of life I am involved in...sometimes it's a gracious blessing (like me not giving up on my European music ministry dream) other times....it bites me in the butt...LOL So in that aspect, I am SO proud to be related to my uncle Jurgis...how he persevered in the Siberian wilderness seems to have carried over to how I persevered and survived.....highschool, overcoming my type 1 diabetes and other trials of my life. He is one of the reasons I am motivated to learn the Lithuaian language completely one day..I now know about 30% of the language...but one glorious day...I want to be able to sit down, and look into his deep Lake Baikal colored eyes and talk face to face with him about his surviving Siberia stories...To Be Continued...

Originality

Originality

When you are laughed at because of your music dream
They don't know the true song inside your heart

When you are mocked because you are saving sex for marriage
They've never met your AMAZING to die for and worth waiting for Christian guy friends

When someone who you thought was a dear friend betrays you unexpectedly
You realize the full extent of all the pain and heartache they were going through and you learn to Love like Jesus.

When you are considered the outcast because of your crazy idea to change the world
Remember that Jesus will graciously embrace every beautiful idea that you carry to His cross

When you are unkindly critiqued about the picture you just painted
They have forgotten to look at the colorful sunrises of life and see the Creator who inspired you

Originality...not afraid of being who Christ created you to be regardless of what everyone else around you thinks...in this seemingly faceless conforming world...

The Day I FINALLY Woke Up...

Today was one of those unusual days...in my life...if you know what I mean...I sensed that a letter I sent a few days ago had FINALLY been read by  the person whose eyes  much needed to know the truth in love...it was the day where I sat down by my piano, for the first time in many, many, many long months and composed a few lines worth of music for some songs I had written recently...It was the day the melodies, the lyrics...just came to me...It was the day, I would never look at my passion for Christian music the same way again...It was the day....I FINALLY Woke Up....

I realized that an autograph was JUST an autograph...whether it be a signature of my best friend or some famous musician...it was just a stupid insignificant permanent black marking on burnable paper...Since I've been involved with the Christian music world for the past 10 years, it was quite the reality to wake up to. It's obvious a musician is a normal person like everyone else...You're like DUH Aiste...DUH...but I mean it REALLY HIT ME today...like a cool refreshing stream of water sliding down my face...Growing up I was always that crazy music girl who couldn't wait to get that autograph from that musician that inspired me SO MUCH...But there was always something inside of me that thought how insignificant the whole black marking was...I realized that at the end of the day I didn't remember this insignificant black marking but the genuine kindness of how the musician related to me...that's what mattered to me...I remember those beautiful heart touching words they spoke into my life...I don't think they realize how much those precious words of wisdom ever meant to me...

I remember back in March going to this IHOP (International House Of Prayer) Conference in Minnesota, and there was an opportunity for me to be prophisized over. By the term "Prophisized over" It's not as scary as it sounds... basically there were a few strong Christians who had the proven biblical gift of prophecy and they spoke into your life and said how God was going to use you...Sometimes they are dead on right, other times it is a more vague response....So this one young man who propisized over me said that he saw "A  huge spiritual breakthrough" that was going to come into my life through prayer...He said I knew exactly what that mean...I pondered this revelation for quite some time, many MONTHS, and I believe today was the day this spiritual breakthrough in prayer hit me...smack in the face...I realized that for the past 10 years of me being involved in Christian music, I have always been the bystander, you know going to concerts and WATCHING musicians speak into other people's lives...and by 10 years I mean it was SERIOUSLY a GOOD 10 years of an ENDLESS amount of Christian concerts...so many I've lost count of the number of Christian concerts I've been to. It's all good and everything but this summer I started feeling this emptiness as I went to concerts...it was like I've been doing the exact same thing for the past 10 years...same old...same old...don't get me wrong every new Christian concert is always AMAZING and I take something valuable away and my heart is changed in some positive way....but I felt God was TELLING ME something here....I believe he was saying to me that Aiste, you've been WATCHING these Christian concerts for the past 10 years and WATCHING musicians speak into peoples lives...now my Child...it is YOUR Turn....YOU...yes YOU....believe it or not...are going to be that musician who is going to be SPEAKING into other peoples lives...your days of standing on the sideline and WATCHING are ABSOLUTELY OVER my dear blessed child....Was I freaked out by this revelation you may ask? Um...to be honest I saw this one coming....I knew that day where God would tell me to start taking my music life VERY SERIOUSLY was coming....So today I prayed to God, accepting his challenge that he had put in front of me telling him how I was SO SICK of just watching this music thing and that I was SO READY to start this passionate music ministry dream that he had placed on my heart...

Overall, I'm not going to lie the Christian music world is great and all but, in some aspects it left me VERY DISAPPOINTED. At the end of the day, a music industry is a music industry whether it be Christian or Secular...bands need to make money in order to support their dream...traveling on the road 24/7 isn't all cute and happy as it sounds...I'm not trying to be a dream crusher here, just stating what I've realized. I very much appreciate those bands in the Christian music industry who connect to every person in a personal way and those who SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU themselves that they wish they had more time to talk with you about your life and get to know you...those musicians have realized what the TRUE meaning of life is.... I forever will appreciate them...It breaks my heart that I may NEVER get to know them on a more personal level but at least I know their intentions of their hearts...on the other side of things for those musicians who are involved in the Christian music world, who do the whole music thing, let the FAME get to their head, and think they are TOO COOL to be friends with someone as "lowly" as you....they DESERVE to have their lawns forked in JESUS NAME....they are  a FREAKIN joke and I hope their band personally fails in every aspect of life until they realize this true meaning of life...I know that may sound quite rude, but you know what? I DON"T CARE. It's the truth...DEAL WITH IT. I'm not one to sugar coat how I feel about things that are very near and dear and passionately very close to my heart...

"Friend or Fan?"

Being involved in the Christian music world for the last 10 years, has really lately gotten me thinking about how I define the everyday yet controversial words "Friend" and "Fan". What I'm about to explain is my perspective on how these two words have affected my life.  By no means do you have to agree with me, in fact this would be really fun to debate and argue out...Seriously!!!! I really don't like using dictionary references to define a word, but let's just start from the dirt basics...What is a "Friend"..."One attached to another by affection or esteem." (Webster) While a fan is a "enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or performing art), usually a spectator or an "Ardent Admirer." (Webster)..."Every friend is a gift from God Treat each of your friends as the Gift He or She is." (Quotes, Laura) Some synonyms for friend are "Acquaintance, buddy, companion, side kick & soul mate"...and  synonyms for "fan"  are "addict, admirer, freak, supporter, follower." As you may already know from previous blogs I've written, I fell in love with Christian music when I was just 8 years old. So over the years, I've had my share of  perspective on this whole friend/fan thing...and let me tell you...It drives me absolutely CRAZY!!! I've honestly never liked the word "fan" to begin with...I actually find it quite offensive! I remember not too long ago, meeting a band. I honestly really "admired" every guy in that band. They were such and inspiration to me and I thought it was a dream come true to have discovered them. But unfortunately a few years later, I realized who they actually were. Personally it looked like  a few or a certain individual had let the "Fame" of this whole band thing get to his head. I'm the type of person who is VERY relationship orientated and since I've always as a young girl been inspired by Christian musicians...especially the guys, I've always wanted to be friends with them just like I would any other friend who is not in a Christian band...You think that it would seem VERY simple having a friend who is in a band...well in my case...it wasn't. It was an honest struggle. With this particular band, I wrote them letters, and every time I got a chance to talk to them I would tell them how much they mean to me and my life...But it seemed like they just didn't get it...I was always considered a mere "Fan" in their eyes...and let me tell you, they still don't realize it...It really hurts...What if I told you I was a "Fan of God"...in my opinion this means that I am a mere admirer or spectator...I don't know him personally...He's just this supposedly cool guy and the whole " genuine personal deep relationship" is NOT there...we don't know each other...While if I were to tell you that I am a "Friend of God" I have a genuine inner personal relationship with him, he knows me very well andI know him very well.We walk life together. We laugh together, cry together and share moments of happiness and sorrow. We are there for each other when life get's tough. Now apply to what I just said to this whole Christian musician thing. That's where things start to get a little messy. Personally, ESPECIALLY if you consider your band to be within the Christian music genre, let's hope that your central mission is to connect people to Christ. In my perspective their is a difference between a band who doesn't specify that their music is Christian and they say they love Jesus Christ and a band who specifically labels their band as "Christian" and says they love Jesus Christ. (I might get smacked in the face for what I'm about to say) But sadly, there are those bands out there who I think have COMPLETELY or at least partially missed the point. I never said every band, just a select few. I think every band since we are all human obviously have had their share of mistakes. So if you're that band that is trying to connect others to Christ, you are going to be meeting and dealing with all sorts of people. All I'm going to say is, YOU have it coming for you... I realized quite recently, that at the end of the day, if you are a Christian musician it's how you treat your family, friends and "fans" that matter more than your stage performance or music in general does. So as a Christian musician, if you are going to be alluring people in, and you know that those people want to be genuine friends with you...why still call them your "fans"? I'm sorry but I am VERY OFFENDED when I'm hoping to be friends with a Christian musician and all they label me is as a "fan"...because what does a "fan" do again? They are a mere spectator who watches from a distance and doesn't really know that person... While a "friend" is someone who you share your heart and life with..Which one sounds more alluring to you personally? So don't expect me to support a band's music if all they do is label me as some  LaLa fan...They are not worth my time or money. I mentioned in my previous blog how I want to start a European music ministry one day. I feel as if some bands treat other bands with great respect, but any person who is not their close friend or family...they shake them off as a "mere fan"...talk about...OUCH. Just because I don't have a band NOW doesn't make me any less of a person. Whether certain bands will admit they make people feel like this or not, that's how they are coming off across as. So let's say I start my music ministry within the next 5 years...God blesses me with that music platform and now I have to live up to this Christlike calling in the Christian music industry. I'm the type of person who, when I meet someone within the first 10 seconds, I consider them a friend. They are my dear brother and sister in Christ. I would NEVER consider anyone I meet in this life to be a "fan" of me. That thought just makes my stomach feel SICK. I would consider them as DEAR FRIENDS. When I start my music ministry, I am going to be everything to my friends that every Christian musician WAS NOT to me...OUCH. I am going to be that girl, who after her shows, I will stay up till FREAKIN 5am in the morning to talk with all my DEAR FRIENDS personally...I'm dead serious. I don't care how long it takes. That's what Christ has called me to do. Not just to merely make music, but to LOVE ON HIS BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. I will be that Christian musician girl who gives my cell phone number away to DEAR FRIENDS who need someone to encourage them in their life. (Don't get me wrong there are certain obsessive people who giving my cell number to would be a really bad idea) I will be that Christian musician girl who goes out for coffee or on a walk with my DEAR FRIENDS. I want to show them the genuine LOVE of Jesus...AND Last but not Least...to all those bands who ever considered me a "Mere Fan"...just you wait...when my music ministry is in full swing and you come over to me... I will DENY that I know you in any other way besides just being a "Mere Fan" and see how YOU like it...Then maybe you'll realize that my friendship with you was no joke...I was being serious...to be continued Part 2

We Get Knocked Down...But We Get Right Back Up!

Well, I'm not fully done blogging my thoughts on my "Looking Back 7 Years" series of Sonshine Festival, but hopefully I'll eventually come back to that series. For now I have another passion I feel like writing about. This one's for all my beautiful Sisters in Christ. I Love you all so much, and I hope that this post would be the golden sunset of your warm summer evening...
So right now I'm reading the book Capitvating by John & Stasi Eldredge...I could write a million thoughts on this book that I'm halfway through on, but if you're a girl in need of a new perspective to see yourself as absolutely Enthralling  through the eyes of Christ, this read is for you...Anyways, as I sat down to read Chapter 8 this morning, I came across a passage that really spoke to my heart..."...the scariest thing for women is to offer our beauty into situaitons where we don't know if it will make any difference, or worse, that we will be rejected. For our Question is, Am I lovely? And to be rejected is to hear a resounding, No. A woman doesn't want to offer her beauty unless she is guaranteed that it will be well received. But life offers no such guarantees. We, too, must take risks...Just think about your life...why do you do the things you do. Have you asked yourself how much you are motivated by fear?...In fact if you feel a little scared then you're probably on the right path...He will give no guarantee that others will enjoy us and respond well...In fact we can be sure that there will be times when they do not...Jesus offered like no other and many rejected him. In those moments or seasons when that happens to us, God's invitation is to bring our sorrow to him. Not to shut down with, I'll never try that again. But to keep our hearts open and alive , and find refuge and healing in his love ( John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating)
There is a situation in my own life, that I've been praying to God, asking why he let me go through it...it involved 4 factors: God. Music. Colorado. Musician Guys... To make a VERY long story short, I poured so much time and energy into the last of the 4 factors, being my true self in Christ, only in the painful end to be left hanging...the above passage was a true answer to my prayers...it hit me with a BANG this glorious morning...Let me explain...I realized for the first time in my life this morning, that there will be people I meet in this life who will ACCEPT my beautiful ideas....and most importantly REJECT my ideas, or never fully grasp why I think the way I do...I've set out a rule of thumb for myself to follow when I'm struggling to decide what to do with a situation God has blessed me or if you will "cursed" me with LOL in my life..."If  I, Aiste were to die tomorrow would I go ahead and do that thing?" Fill in your name in place of mine, and ask yourself honestly, what would you do? Basically along the lines of the  old but true saying "Live and Love like there is no tommorrow." and ever since I have adapted that rule of thumb into my everyday life...WOW...Let me tell you...that day I chose to leave my fear of life behind, and  trust that God has blessed  me with this oppurtunity for a reason, that I should whole heartedly go after it...let me tell you sister...God took this life and SHOOK IT UP...I was never the same person again...As a woman, you know what, I have decided to take those big risks in life in the name of Jesus...If God is calling me to do something, and I'm afraid or doubt myself, I leave it at God's holy feet, suck it up, and go do it! LOL If there is another important thing I've learned in this life it's that "The things that might end up being the most painful for Christ, are the things most worth doing."
This thought takes me back to the quote, " He will give no guarantee that others will enjoy us and respond well...In fact we can be sure that there will be times when they do not..." I also realized for the first time that morning, that as I live out who I am in Christ for the world to see, reality is there will be people out there who will sadly not appreciate the beauty Christ created me to be...AND it's guaranteed that at one point in another in my life that there ARE those people out there, if I haven't discovered them already...This passage brought SO much needed healing to my heart and life. I can't begin to describe to you how God touched my heart today. So regardless of what someone may think of me, going back to my situation in this case ( musician guys) I must have the courage and strength by God's grace to continue to be myself and offer my beauty that I have to give to this world...NO MATTER WHAT...this includes those incidences in life where we feel as though we  have "failed God" (Technically if there is still blood rushing through your veins and you are breathing in the sweet aroma of life, you HAVE NOT failed Him) or situations where you  have been rejected or felt like you were judged or misunderstood, you my beautiful daughter, MUST NOT let that so called "Failure" define YOU...After something like this happens, I've realized in my own life, we take this scarred situation to the cross, and in Jesus name, let the Lover of our souls, who is absolutely ENTHRALLED by us, heal us, so we can once again have a heart, that is "Open & Alive" (Captivating)....and to this day, I pray that  one day these "musician guys' realize what an indescribable blessing they were to me and my best friend's life and that I have COMPLETELY forgiven them, because God worked in my heart  and still is in such a way to do so. So even though my best friend and I  may have been misunderstood by them, and they didn't fully appreciate our inner Beauty that Christ created us  to be, we got back up, looked into the gleaming eyes of our Glorious saviour, he took us by the hand, and once again we walked into the eternal sunset of His heart....

Looking Back 7 Years...Part 3

In this crazy and exciting blog entry, I will be reflecting on words of advice and wisdom I have asked for and recieved from my favorite Christian musicians over the past 10 years...I believe there are 3 kinds of music types in this world.... You have your  less than 1% of elite naturally born & gifted Beethovens...who could literally sit down at the piano at the age of 3 and compose an 8 page symphony with little to no effort. Then there are those who are blessed to be born into a family of musicians, and it's only natural that you follow in their footsteps..Or if you're like most people...or like me...you were born into a family in which you are the black sheep when it comes to music. Your parents didn't get the chance to learn an instrument as a child, or they might have for a while but decided at an early age that this whole music scene, wasn't worth pursuing. Trust me...I feel your pain! It can be SO hard at times to stay encouraged in your music dreams when it feels as if EVERYONE around you is oblivious to your heart's screaming & tormented music passion. I've been there...and if you're one of those people, I'm writing this encouragement for YOU. Everyone has their own music story to share, so I thought I'd tell you a little bit about my life so you can see where I am coming from...So both my parents are originally from the European country of Lithuania. They came to America in 1990 due to Russian communism. I was born in 1993. All my relatives are back in Lithuania it is just my dad, mom, sister and I here in America. Apparently my mom once told me that my great-aunt used to be a famous opera singer and that my grandfather (Mom's side) loved to sing and had a great voice....otherwise....that's it for music life in my family...yep...then a few generations later...I, Aiste came along...AND I happened to discover the Christian music world when I was 8 years old...To this day, I know it was a God thing. I remember one sunny afternoon sitting & playing with my toys in the living room and my Dad came home from work. He was like "Aiste, I found a CD that I think you will really like." The first Christian music CD that I had ever recieved from my Dad happened to be by the band "PLUS ONE". and....you guessed right...I absolutely FELL IN LOVE with this band..and then my Dad eventually introduced me to Christian radio my 5th grade year..and then my love for Christian music escalated rapidly after that I as began to discover more and more bands in that genre. I remember hearing from someone that "The passions you loved and discovered as a child, are things you may enjoy doing for the rest of your life." For me, that passion was obviously Christian music. To this day, it makes PERFECT sense why I've dreamed my whole life of having a Christian band...I immersed myself in music SO MUCH growing up.  I started playing the piano when I was 8 years old and continued through my junior year of highschool. I started singing around that age too and have been involved vocally ever since through voice lessons and choir. I started playing the flute when I was in the 5th grade through the concert band at my highschool and I continue to pursue that instrument. Last but not least, by God's grace, I'm trying to teach myself guitar this summer...AHHH! I come from a town in southwestern Minnesota that has about 1,500 people. As I mentioned in my Part 1 series, I was pretty much the only girl in my small highschool (250 students) who had a passion for Christian music. By passion I mean, more than just loving music, actually being proactive in eventually starting  a band and establishing a music ministry within that. So I've seen many dark days, where my music passion has been, tested, tried, bruised broken, crushed, twisted & turned, punched in the face, burned through the fire (meteorically speaking) doubted, left hanging, rejected...You name it every discouraging and  unwanted trial....I've been there...but my dear passionate music friends...what do we do when we are tested?  One of my many favorite bible verses describes this perfectly, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 (biblegateway.com) So as this verse explains, even though we are crushed and pressed on every side...WE. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. I repeat my dear passionate music friends...What do we do? WE. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. Ahmen! I believe that the music dreams that seem "Impossible" that God has placed on our hearts are NOT there by accident...  I'm serious. That God-breathed music dream is NOT there by accident. So many times in my own music life I've doubted God, and questioned, "Why me?!, Why do I have to be "CURSED" with this crazy God-breathed music dream?!?!? Why Jesus, WHY!?!?! But I am realizing more and more day by day that God places Crazy dreams on our hearts that only by HIS HELP and HIS TIME will be accomplished. So I can trust God, knowing that he has a purpose for my music dream, and that it WILL come to pass, and he won't leave me hanging...BUT...I have to be willing to be  that proactive person, who's willing to go that extra mile in my music life to make it happen. I have to work HARD. God never said that God  breathed & God sized dreams would be easy by ourselves...He needs to be the center of it all...That's when the "Impossible" truly becomes the POSSIBLE and the world around us is left staring at us with their mouths wide open...in absolute AWE at what God just did through a beautiful life that was dedicated to follwing him with their whole heart...
If you haven't already, you should check out the book called "Wide Awake" by Erwin Raphael McManus..This book literally changed my life and my perspective on God sized dreams.There are SO many challenging and inspiring quotes in this book. Basically McManus explains that those crazy seemingly impossible God inspired dreams on your heart..ARE POSSIBLE and can become a reality, or as he says "Dreaming Wide Awake." Some sample quotes that I've highlighted: "Ever notice that people who refuse to give up seem to succeed the most? Ever notice that people who expect great things seem most likely to accomplish great things?...You have to be willing to dream of a life that seems unlikely or maybe even impossible...They're the things that burn inside of you that if you cannot attain or accomplish, you feel like you would rather die...Once you have a dream from God and refuse to relinquish it, that dream is going to come to pass no matter what opposition you face..." (McManus) These are just a few of the MANY mind boggling quotes I have highlighted throughout this book..Now as I'm looking through what I've highlighted I think I will do a separate series reflecting on some of my favorite quotes from this  book.
So what I'm about to share with you comes from one Christian musician who has been one of the most AMAZING music inspirations in my life...Let me introduce to you Mike Donehey. He is the lead singer of the worship band  called Tenth Avenue North. He is in his late 20s, is married and has 2 girls. He has a unique sense of humor and he carries himself with a light hearted smiling persona. I recently had the chance to talk to him after his concert at Sonshine Festival  2011. I asked him, how his band Tenth Avenue North started. He explained how in the beginning he never had in mind that the end result of his music project would end up being the band known today as Tenth Avenue North...He and his fellow band members just started out by doing worship at local churches, coffee shops, basically any place or venue who was interesting in hearing their music. As time moved on God eventually blessed them with a music platform in the Christian music industry. It took time, it wasn't an easy journey, but they let God make it happen...AND...It. Did. My heart truly changed and took on a new perspective of what it means to have a Christian band after he said that. I realized that if you have a passion for christian music and worship arts...simply...do what you love! Go to that local church and pour your heart out to the hurting youth, go to that coffee shop and sing that our saviour can truly move the mountains. Don't let fear hold you back. Simply sing, because you love doing it in Jesus precious name. He will bless you. I also realized that as a Christian musician you have to start SOMEWHERE...Tobymac did not become Tobymac in a day...He started very local and built his platform up as God graced him, each and every day. Don't underestimate the value of practicing your instruments on a daily basis, it may get monotonous (that probably means you need to reinvent a fresh outlook) or boring and I'm telling you... YOUR MUSIC PASSION WILL BE TESTED... but the ending result for Christ is COMPLETELY WORTH IT. I was telling Mike how I was discouraged in my music life because I just started learning guitar when I was 18. The funny thing is, he told me that he started learning guitar the summer he graduated from highschool...when he was 18 too...just like me...( he then smiled and gave me a high-five) I can not tell you and he does not even yet know what a breath of encouragement that was to me! So basically, don't think you are EVER too old to learn to sing or play an instrument if you are truly passionate about music. Just like our relationship with Jesus Christ is a growing process, so is our music lives. Those 2 pieces of wisdom I received from Mike Donehey, I will forever hold close to my heart...

Looking Back 7 Years...Part 2

So I promised I would write a Part 2 to this post...Well here it is! :) SO...how does an all guy band or partial guy band feel about girls that "FREAK OUT" over them...Very touchy subject you may ask? AHMEN...That's why I'm blogging about it...I always ask myself so where did this   "Oh my gosh, he is the cutest musician ever, I want to marry him tomorrow!!!!!" obsession come from anyways? Girls, let's be honest now...we have to admit we really admire those guys out there who we think are good looking and attractive...It's like we make it into some game, seeing who can spy out and find the cutest guy out there...I think it's ridiculous all the emotional drama we go through because of guys...Like stop reading this and think for a second, how many times in your life have you "suffered" emotional drama because of ONE guy? From my perspective I think musician guys purely enjoy the attention they are getting from girls, it's healthy, it's great...it's the way God created us...UNTIL it becomes something we obsess about. I think some girls in today's culture don't realize that the "famous" cute guy musician is just a regular person like everyone else. They put him on this Greek God-like pedastool as if he is more elite than the rest of society. At the end of the day, he's just like any other guy,( these are just "bring you back to reality examples" I obviously realize not EVERY guy is like this LOL) he's had that ugly break up with his girlfriend, he has thrown up and gotten sick, he has actually tripped and fallen flat on his face bruising his nose. Also, most importantly he is God's child  whom Jesus loves very much...I feel as though we girls fail to see that cute musician guy through the eye's of Christ...I'll never forget the day when I was about 12 or 13 and coming across this reading that explained how we should treat the guys in our life as "Brothers in Christ" and not as "Potential guys I will date"...I feel so blessed to have come across this word of advice at a young age, because those above words honestly shaped my perspective on how I treat guys.  There is something so beautiful about guys and girls being great friends...the RELATIONSHIP LASTS LONGER...you get to know each other without having to worry about all the complicated dating issues. Does life get any better than that?!?!
As I mentioned in Part 1 unfortunately... I've come across the frogs and toads of Christian guy musicians... As oxymoronic as that may sound...they are out there... and once again...I learned the HARD way... Just because a guy labels himself as a "Christian musician" doesn't exactly mean he lives up to that high calling. I've talked to girls and just observed and myself experienced how falling in love with a Christian guy musician can end and be very emotionally traumatizing. I have to admit we as girls ARE VERY emotional, dramatic and  become very relationally attached to guys...It's the beautiful way God made us! :) Why else would Soul Glow Activator (Lead singer of FamilyForce 5) feel inspired to write a song titled "Drama Queen" ?!?!?! =P I'd have to say one of the most saddest and heart breaking instances are when we fall in love with a Christian musician guy who we found out in the painful end...is NOT who he said he was...We remember that day we shook his soft hand and looked into his hidden "Scandalous brown eyes" (give lyrical credit) and thought that he was the greatest guy we had ever met...absolutely...PERFECT.... That day you went to his first concert and fell in Love with his music as well...I think all of us who have a passion for music...have some sort of story to tell about this. You can't stop thinking about him. You want to marry him and have "millions of babies"... Every time you meet him you feel as though you have to say the right words or he will think you are stupid or not worth loving...You spend endless tiring hours coming up with the perfect speech to tell him your "Life story in 10 seconds"... Yes, I just said those words..."Not. Worth. Loving." Believe it or not, there are girls including myself who have or once thought that who they were was how a guy DEFINED them...Scary revelation you may ask? YEP. But sadly, it's SO TRUE in today's culture. I believe we as girls have to STOP letting guys DEFINE who we are. We are God's blessed Daughter whom He finds VERY WORTH LOVING...Let me repeat this phrase, let it sink into your soul, dear sister...We are God's blessed Daughter whom he finds VERY WORTH LOVING...I recently posted this quote as my facebook status, "That day you finally realize that you do not need to be "good enough" for a guy...if that is the case...that simply means he is not good enough for you...God has someone better in mind whether you believe it or not." AHMEN. WE are God's priceless and beautiful daughters...just as God treats us...we deserve to be treated the same way by a guy!  Going back to the Christian musician guy...Personally I think if you are going to be singing the name of Christ to girls who look up to you...you should more or less act like it. At the end of the day I believe it is how a Christian musician treats and LOVES his/her family, friends & fans that matter the most rather than his or her stage performance... WHY? you may ask...Well let's go back to the dirt basics in the bible. Why are we here? What is our mission? Christ says, "LOVE one another as I have LOVED you." Does Christ even mention anything about how skilled or great your music needs to be or what famous over the top pedastool platform you should be achieving??? NO. So what makes a Christian guy musician who you know is not a fake TRULY attractive? How he LOVES EVERY single person God has blessed him to cross paths with in his beautiful life...To Be Continued Part 3